You Cry More (He Swears He Loves You)
by AlexisRose84
Summary: Summary: Modern AU- They were college sweethearts, but then he moved to America to fulfill his dreams. When John returns, ten years later, he finds Anna happily married with two kids. But is she happily married? And are things the way that they seem? Deals with Domestic Violence. COMPLETE
1. Chapter 1

**You Cry More (He Swears He Loves You)**

_**Summary: Modern AU- They were college sweethearts, but then he moved to America to fulfill his dreams. When John returns, ten years later, he finds her happily married with two kids. But is she happily married? And are things the way that they seem? Deals with Domestic Violence. **_

_I can't believe I am starting a third story when my other two still have a ways to go. I told myself no new stories until at least one of those were close to being finished. But I am stressed and have a lo going on and writing is my escape from life, so I'm guessing that is where this is coming from. This is a short starter just to see if anyone is interested. Thank you for taking the time to read. -AR_

**You Cry More**

The first time it happened, Anna thought she misread the situation. That perhaps she had imagined it and it wasn't that bad. Sure he had a temper, but he had always been sweet with her. They had dated for two years and it had always been great. Marriage had been the next logical step. And now two months into their married life, things couldn't be better. They found a new house and lived where they had always wanted. Soon, they both hoped for children.

"I don't know," he said, as the two of them looked at paint swatches. Anna laughed. She reached over to take them so she could help decide a color for the walls. It had been a tense day. If they wanted it done in time for move in, they had to have the colors picked out by the evening. As she grabbed the swatches, his hand grabbed her wrist. At first, she pulled away, thinking it was just a reflex, but his hand tightened.

"Don't grab things," he sneered at her, tightening his hold even more.

"You're hurting me," she cried. His eyes remained on hers and he didn't budge. For the first time, she was afraid of him. Her eyes twitched, as tears filled them and she attempted to pull her arm away from him again. "Please," she begged.

His hand slackened and he turned and walked away into the next room. Anna's breaths were uneven and she felt completely lost. What had just happened? Stepping backwards, she hit the wall behind her and bit her lip to keep from crying. Her hand flew up to her sore wrist, looking it over. It wouldn't bruise, but it still hurt.

"Honey," his voice was sweet. He stepped back into the kitchen and gave her that charming smile he had. Walking toward her, he leaned forward and kissed her cheek. She winced slightly, but calmed when she realized he wasn't going to hurt her.

"Let's go and look in the next room, okay?" He smiled at her and gently grabbed her hand. She nodded and followed him down the long hallway.

Soon she eased and thought to herself that what had happened really wasn't that bad. They both were stressed about making the finishing touches on the house, so that they could move in soon. Now that they were married, they were just excited and anxious about starting their life together. Plus, she had been the one to attempt to grab the swatches out of his hand. It was her fault anyway. Alex had always been so gentle; this was just a misunderstanding. Yes, that's all it was.

At least, that's what she told herself.

_Six Years Later _

As she laid on the cold tile floor, she covered her head with her arms trying to protect her head from his blows. This was the angriest he had been in a long time. She could already feel the cuts and bruises forming all around her frame.

Crying could be heard from the nursery and she wanted to get up to get her baby, but she couldn't. Her body was too frail and he wasn't finished. Another kick hit her stomach and she cried out in pain.

"Mummy?" A small voice came from outside the bathroom door. Anna glanced at the door and was grateful it was closed. Her eyes flew to her husbands and they pleaded with him.

"Penny," she cried. He sighed. Running his hands through his hair, he straightened himself up and evened his angry breaths.

"Hold on, Penny," he called out sweetly. Then he bent down and grabbed Anna's hair, so he could pull her ear to his lips. She winced, but was too weak to cry out in anymore pain. "If you even think about leaving me again, I will take the kids and disappear. You will never see them again."

He dropped her back onto the ground and headed to the door. Anna's eyes were losing focus, but she could see he was blocking the doorway so their three year old couldn't see inside.

"Your mummy's sick, sweet pea. Let's go get your brother and then go get some ice cream," he said. She heard Penny laugh with happiness and then the door was shut leaving her alone.

Across the room, she heard her phone ping. She knew it was him waiting for to arrive. It pinged again. Her hand reached out, as if she could reach it, but it was way too far. Hot tears streamed down her face. She wouldn't be able to tell him what happened and he wouldn't be able to save her, not anymore. Alex had her children now. He knew. There was no more chance of escape. Feeling hopeless, she faded into darkness.

_To be continued..._

**_The story will begin six months or so before this last scene. Please let me know if you would like me to continue. Thank you in advance. _**


	2. Chapter 2

_**Thank you for the encouragement! Here is the next chapter! **_

**Chapter 2**

_Now (Six Months Earlier)_

Small baby cries made Anna's eyes slowly open and a yawn escape her lips. She sat up and pulled the three month old out of his bassinet next to her bed and gave him a smile. Bouncing him lightly, she began to walk him to the rocker in the corner of the room. The little boy's lips curled and his head turned back and forth.

"Soon, my love," she murmured to him.

Sitting down, she brought him to her breast and he was quickly satisfied. Anna rocked the baby back and forth, while he ate. Her hand caressed the side of his cheek and sighed contently. Soon, he was asleep. She shifted him so that his head was on her shoulder and she ran her hand up and down his back. Gently, she took him back to his bed and laid him down. She watched his chest rise and fall a few times, before she climbed back into her bed to go back to sleep.

As she rolled onto her stomach, she felt her husband shift beside her. His hand came around her hips and she winced. Alex's lips caressed her shoulder and he twisted his lips.

"Oh sorry, honey," he muttered into her ear. "I forgot." Anna swallowed hard. He had forgotten pushing her harshly back into the kitchen counter the other day?

"Its fine," she replied, giving him a small smile. But in the back of her mind, she recalled the anger on his face when she said she had forgotten to iron his shirt for work. The darkness in his eyes as he screamed and grabbed her wrist. When Penny had called for her across the house, he had shoved her, knowing he wouldn't be able to do more without Penny seeing.

He had been stressed, she told herself. Things were getting hectic at the firm. Every day, he came home with more and more paperwork. Ever since his boss had gotten fired, the work had trickled down onto them. Once it was settled, things would get better. It would be better soon. (It was something he always promised.)

Alex's kisses continued up her shoulder and on her neck. He turned her over and kissed her on her lips.

"Not right now," Anna told him. "Penny will be up in a few hours. I'm really tired."

"I think it's time we tried for a new baby," he said, ignoring her requests. His lips continued over her collarbone.

"Lucas is only three months old," was her reply. "I thought we were going to be done for a little while. I wanted to go back to work in a few years." Alex's lips paused and he sat up. Anna could feel her body tensing, not knowing how he would respond to her words. His eyes were dark and she swallowed hard, but as his hand ran up her side and she winced, his eyes softened.

"We'll talk about it more, later," Alex said, kissing her cheek. "Get some rest." And with that, he was back on his side of the bed.

It took several minutes for Anna's body to relax back into the covers. Her eyes filled with tears. She didn't want more children. Her children were her entire world, but they were both young and a lot of work. If they were going to have more, then not now. Not when Lucas was only three months old. Maybe in a few years.

A few tears fell down her cheeks, but she worked hard to even out her breaths so that she wouldn't start to cry bitterly. That would wake him. She didn't need that.

Eventually, she fell into a fitful sleep.

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

_Eleven Years Ago_

"Hi," a voice came behind her and she suddenly felt so safe. As his arms came around the back of her, she happily sighed. She pressed her back against his chest and giggled when he kissed the crook of her neck.

"Hi," she said back. Turning to face him, her smile grew. She stepped up onto her tippy toes and kissed him. "I missed you."

"I missed you, my darling," he kissed her back. Taking his hand, Anna led him down the courtyard of the university. John had been away for a research project. It had only been a week, but to Anna it had felt much longer.

"Have you eaten?"

"Not yet." His thumb ran circles around the back of her hand. Anna always loved when he did that.

"Good, we can grab something to eat together."

"I'd love that."

John was two years older than Anna. He had just started his final year of school and Anna was in her second year. The two had met a year before at a social hosted by their mutual friend, Mary Crawley. It was actually Mary who had set the two of them up together. At the social, she had insisted the two sit on the porch to get to know one another. Mary must have known the two well enough to know that they were a good match.

"Anna!" A voice called from across the courtyard. They both turned to see Alex Green heading towards them. Next to Anna, John tensed.

"Be nice," Anna teased John.

When Alex reached them, he had a large charming smile across his features. He cut his eyes to John sharply, but quickly. Anna didn't notice, but John did.

"Are you both heading to lunch?" He asked them.

"We are," John answered tersely.

"Me too," he responded with a smirk.

"Actually, Alex, John just got back from being out of town. We were going to have lunch alone together," Anna sweetly and apologetically told him. "Perhaps, we can all eat lunch together another day."

"Oh, of course!" Alex replied with a smile. "You both have fun!" With that, Alex walked in a different direction than the two of them. Watching Alex, as he moved away, John made a low groan.

"Why can't you just be nice to him," Anna playfully admonished. "He's nice. He just has a hard time making friends."

"There is something I don't like about him," John explained. There was something about Alex Green that John couldn't quite put his fingers on, but he didn't trust him. He shook his head. "He likes you."

Anna paused and crooked her head to the side. "You mean, like a friend?" John laughed.

"No. He _likes_ you," he said, enunciating the word likes.

"I don't think so," Anna replied. "And even if he does, he's out of luck."

"Yes, that's true," John agreed, retaking her hand. Anna stepped closer to John's frame, so that he would have to let go of her hand and instead wrap his arm around her shoulder. As the two of them headed toward the cafeteria, he thought about how he was the luckiest man in the world.

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

_Now_

Thanking and paying the driver, John stepped out of the car and onto the Downton Abbey estate. He hadn't been anywhere near here in nearly ten years. After he got out of school, he had been offered a job opportunity in New York City. There he had been able to grow his advertising skills into his own business. With his own business, he was able to move back to his home, England.

There were many things he had missed about his home while he was away, but the main one didn't matter anymore. They had both moved on with their lives. Anna couldn't follow him across the ocean when she hadn't even finished school, yet. They had been young. During that time, they both had gotten married. Personally, John would have preferred she married anyone but Alex Green, but he hoped he had been wrong about him and she was happy. John's marriage, however, had ended after five unhappy years. They ended amicably. With no other ties to America, it seemed like it was time to return.

"Bates!" A loud voice boomed. John glanced over to see Robert Crawley walking toward him. At a young age, John had lost his parents. The Crawleys had been their close friends and they had taken John in at only fifteen years old. During those three years he lived with them, he had gotten close to the whole family.

"Hi Robert," John said, as he walked toward the man who had taken him under his wing and encouraged him to follow his dreams.

"We're glad you're back."

It was strange. Ten years and it was as if nothing had changed. In those years, John had kept saying he was going to come and visit, but it had never happened. He was always busy with work and then he got married and all holidays were spent with her family.

"I'm glad to be back. Am I early?" John questioned, his eyes scanned the outside of the house.

"No, everyone is inside," Robert said. His oldest daughter, Mary, had gotten married a month before and they were throwing a big party to celebrate today. Mary had decided to elope to marry Henry. When she told the family, they said there was no way they would let it go without any type of celebration. Of course, finding out John was back in town, they had invited him. All of the Crawleys were anxious to catch up with him in more detail than emails and social media had given them.

As he entered the home, he felt a great sense of longing. He hadn't realized how much he had missed this place. Soon he could hear the sounds of chatter and music being played. Cora welcomed him and gave him a tight hug, before leading him toward the food. She fussed about all the weight he had apparently lost while he was away. Cora had never had her much longed for boy. While she would never replace her daughters for anything, she had always wished for a boy too. When John moved in, she had felt like that dream had finally been answered, and John had been spoiled somewhat because of it.

Turning the corner into the main area, there she was. John blinked. He had to be dreaming. But no, he wasn't. There, standing right in front of him, stood Anna Smith. Well, she wasn't a Smith anymore, she was a Green. The idea made his skin crawl slightly, but he shook it off. She was talking to Sybil, the youngest Crawley daughter. Her eyes were bright and she had the biggest smile on her face. When she turned slightly, John realized she had a wrap around her and there was a sleeping baby in it. She was a natural, he thought. Motherhood suited her.

"John!" Anna's voice happily rang, when she spotted him. Her smile widened even more and she quickly headed toward him. Her arms wrapped around his neck and she held him tightly for a quick moment. "It's been so long."

"I know," he replied. His eyes fell to the sleeping baby in front of her. "A lot has changed."

"It has," Anna agreed. The small bundle let out a whimper and she began to bounce slightly. "Shh, shh." Soon, the baby boy was back to sleep. "Sorry, this is Lucas's naptime and he likes to nap on me."

"No apologies needed; he's adorable." Anna's face brightened. He could see she adored her son. "Do you have any more children?"

"Yes, a daughter: Penny. She's three. She's upstairs with the other bigger kids playing. Penny loves coming to Downton. How about you? Any children?"

"No, I'm afraid that wasn't in the cards for my wife and me," John replied, his voice tight. He had always wanted children, but they had struggled. It was part of the reason for his and his wife's divorce. The pain had torn them apart.

"Oh, I'm sorry." John could see the concern for him on her face. Anna always carried about others more than herself. It had been an aspect he had admired about her. "Is your wife here? I'd love to meet her?"

"No. We are no longer together." Anna's face fell more. "But it's a good thing. We were miserable together," he added. He hated to see her sad.

A figure walked behind Anna and before John knew it, Alex Green was right behind him. Alex's lips twitched upwards and he gave John a smirk. His hand ran up Anna's arm and he kissed Anna's shoulder.

"Well, hello, John," Alex said lightly, but John could tell there was a bit of a sneer in his voice. John shifted uneasily on his feet. Alex was showing he had won Anna; that she was his. The whole situation made him uncomfortable. It was almost like he thought he owned Anna. John knew his evaluation of Alex was a bit unfair; they had only been in the same spot for a few minutes. But over the years he had gotten even better at reading people, and he still did not trust Alex Green.

"Hi, Alex," John finally got out. Alex's hand rested on Anna's hip. A weird look crossed Anna's face, almost as though she was grimacing. John's eyes narrowed, as Anna quickly fixed the features on her face. The three stood in a quiet standstill for several moments, before Alex spoke again.

"Anna, I think we should go and congratulate Mary now." John watched as Anna nodded. She gave John a small smile.

"It was good to see you again," she told him, her voice sincere.

"It was good to see you, too," he replied. Anna turned and followed her husband. Alex's hand came up to the small of Anna's back and John watched as her body tensed and she flinched slightly. His brows furrowed. Taking a deep breath, he sighed. He was probably just reading things wrong. He had never liked Alex Green and so he was probably making up problems where there weren't any.

_To be continued..._

**_Thank you for reading! Please let me know what you think! Thanks in advance! _**


	3. Chapter 3

_Thank you to those who read, reviewed, liked, and/or followed the story. I hope you continue to enjoy. Buckle up! It's going to be a bit of a rough ride. This story deals with violence, so be prepared for some darker scenes throughout the story. Thanks again! _

**Chapter 3**

The party had settled down and John was one of the last guests left at Downton. He walked into the large kitchen to find Mary alone sipping on a glass of wine. When he walked up to her, she smiled.

"I'm so glad you could make it," she told him. When John had first moved in with them all those years ago, Mary had been the most resistant to the change. At thirteen, she had been the oldest child in the house. Then John came in at fifteen and changed that. However, it didn't take too long for them to bond. Edith annoyed Mary to no end and Sybil was just too young to understand thirteen year olds. John ended up being a good confident for Mary. He was her only one, outside of their butler, Mr. Carson. But John didn't give into her every whims like Carson did. He would tell her when she was wrong.

"Me too. Congratulations, again."

"Thank you. Where are you staying?" Mary asked.

"In a hotel, right outside the town."

"Oh, you must stay here, just for tonight! Mama and Papa would love it. Everyone is staying here tonight. It could be just like old times; we're just all older."

"I don't know…"

"You don't know what?" Sybil's broke in, as she entered the kitchen. Her four year old was on her hip and half asleep against her shoulder.

"I'm trying to convince John to stay the night." At Mary's suggestion, Sybil's face lit up.

"Oh yes, please do, John!" John laughed. Sybil was the sweetest of the Crawley clan. It was always hard to tell her no.

"Alright, just for the night."

"Good! We need to all get properly caught up. Tomorrow morning, I'll ask Mrs. Patmore to cook an extravagant breakfast for us all, like old times," Mary said. "You can have your old room. It should be all set up already. If not, you know where the sheets are."

"I do."

"Good. It's all settled."

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

A soft snore left Penny's lips, as Anna laid her down into her bed. She smiled. The small girl turned onto her side and took a hold of Anna's hand. For a few short moments, she kept Penny's little hand in hers. Her fingers ran over the small tips of Penny's fingers and she grinned. Gently pulling her hand away, she bent down to kiss Penny's pudgy cheek.

"I love you, sweet girl," she murmured, before pulling the covers over her tiny frame.

As she stood, her mind went back to seeing John that evening. It had been so strange to just see him there after all those years. Despite trying not to, she couldn't stop thinking about how things had been with John and how safe she had felt with him. It was hard not to compare him to Alex. With Alex….no, she shook away those thoughts. Alex was her husband. He loved her and they had children together. So, he got angry sometimes. He always apologized. Things would be better soon; he always promised.

She stepped out of Penny's room and walked down the stairway to the downstairs. The light in the kitchen was on, but no one was in there. Grateful to be alone, Anna poured herself a glass of milk and stood in front of the window. It was dark out, but the moon was full. She had always loved watching the moon and its phases. When she was a younger girl, she would make note nightly on how the moon look. Her and her father would draw pictures and discuss what the next night would be. Her fond memories of her father kept her in deep thought that when Alex came up behind her, she didn't hear him.

"Glancing at the moon?" He asked. Anna tensed slightly, before calming and nodding her head.

"It's beautiful tonight." She felt Alex come closer so that his chest was touching her back. Soon, his lips were caressing the nook of her neck and his hand came around to take the glass of milk out of her hand.

"Let's have another baby," he murmured into her ear. At this, Anna turned around, making him stop his kisses.

"Alex, we talked about this. Not now. Maybe in a year or two…" Her words were paused when Alex's hands came up sharply to her shoulders and he held her tightly.

"This is because you saw him today, isn't it," Alex growled. Anna's eyes narrowed.

"No. I already told you I didn't want another baby right now," she held firm. Over time she had learned how to remain stoic during these times. His grip tightened. Anna's body quivered slightly in fear. She hadn't seen a jealous Alex in a while. He was always the scariest.

"Memories of a better time, huh?" He pushed her body up against the wall.

"You're being ridiculous, Alex. I'm married to you." Even though she was trying to remain calm, she could hear the slight fear within her voice. His hands tightened even more around her upper arms, making her gasp. "You're hurting me."

"Then show me," he snarled, his face in hers.

"Show..show you what, Alex?" Her strength was fading.

"That you love me," he told her, as his head moved back to her neck. His hands skimmed down her sides and at the edge of her top. As he began to pull the shirt up, Anna closed her eyes. She bit back the tears that wanted to escape, but she knew she would have to do this to ease his concerns.

"Okay," she said, wrapping her arms around his neck. "Let's go upstairs."

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

Breakfast at Downton was just like the old days. Mary quipped at Edith and Edith would shoot her back looks that could kill. Sybil played peacemaker between the two girls, while Robert and Cora ate their meal. It was a buzz of laughter and talking between them all. Henry, Tom, and Bertie were with them now, but they seemed to just be in awe of the big meal. John guessed it was their first official time with all of the Crawley sisters together at one table. Bertie and Edith had moved away years ago.

When breakfast was over, John helped Mary take the plates back into the kitchen for the housekeeper to clean. With the two of them alone, John decided this might be the best opportunity to ask Mary about Anna. The two were best friends and if anyone had any insight about her and Alex, it would be her.

"It was nice seeing Anna last night," John simply said, trying to make his conversation seem organic and not forced. Mary nodded.

"It was. I hardly ever see her anymore. I was surprised to see her show up." At this, John's eyebrows furrowed.

"Oh really? Why?" Mary's head shook and her shoulders shrugged.

"She doesn't show up to events very often. I know she has two small kids, but I don't know…" Mary's words faded and her eyes seemed to be focused on something outside of the window. John quickly caught on to this.

"So what do you make of her and Green together?" He carefully asked, searching her face for any changes in her features. Mary turned to face him and she sighed.

"I don't like him," she simply answered.

"Why not?"

"I think he's controlling," she responded. "Anna can't do much without him right there."

John's jaw tightened. It had been a concern of his when he saw Alex with Anna the night before. The way he had stood behind Anna had a controlling tone to it.

"Has anything else happened? Do you…do you think she's safe?" He watched as Mary's lips twisted in thought.

"I…I don't think he's dangerous," she finally answered. "But there was this one time…."

"What?"

Mary shook her head sharply and glanced around to make sure no one else was nearby. When she was sure no one was in earshot, she pointed at the chair for John to take a seat. He did and Mary sat down across from him.

"About four years ago Anna came to my house in tears saying she was going to leave Alex," Mary informed him. "She was so upset. I tried to get her to tell me what had happened, but she wouldn't. She just kept crying. It…well, it was a bad time in her life. I just assumed…." Mary paused slightly. "Anyway, she went back to him the next day."

"And that's all that happened?" John asked. "You never found out why she left him?"

"No," Mary replied. "They have been fine ever since."

"But you still think he's controlling? Do you think it was something like that?"

"I don't know, John. As I said, it was a bad time in her life. I thought maybe she was just going through something and maybe the two had fought."

John sat back and sighed. He had hoped his conversation with Mary would ease his thoughts about Alex Green, but it hadn't. It had confirmed them.

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

When Anna awoke the next morning, she was grateful to find Lucas still sleeping in his bassinet next to the bed. She turned to her side and was relieved that it was empty. There was a small note on Alex's pillow that said he had an early meeting and would be home late that evening. She stood and glanced out the window to ensure that his car was not in front of the house.

She stepped into the bathroom and turned on the light. The light accentuated the paleness in her cheeks. Stepping forward, her oversized shirt fell off her right shoulder and she sighed. Glancing at her reflection in the mirror, she could see the beginnings of a bruise starting to form where he had held her tightly in anger. It wasn't the worst he had done to her, but it had hurt.

Her entire body was sore, actually. Last night, he had been rough, possessive, really. While Alex wasn't usually the most generous lover, he wasn't rough either. Well, except that one time when….. Anna shook away the thoughts. That had been a long time ago and he had apologized profusely. He had promised that would never happen again, and it was the one promise he had kept.

Checking behind her, to make sure she was truly alone, she climbed up on the counter and opened the highest cabinet door. Pulling the farthest box of feminine product box from the back, she brought it to her chest. Then she got off the counter and began digging in the box.

There she found the Plan B box she had hidden in there. She had bought it in case something like last night happened. She couldn't have another baby, not now. But she also couldn't argue with Alex about it. He wanted more children. He would never understand why she couldn't have more.

She read the directions multiple times, before taking it. Then she re-hid the box back up in the high cabinet on the shelf, making a personal reminder to throw it out when they ran to the store later in the day.

She met her eyes in the mirror and swallowed hard. There were days she couldn't believe that this was her life. She pulled her hair out of its messy bun and slowly worked on plaiting it behind her back. Closing her eyes, she took in a deep breath and then forced herself to smile. It would all be okay. But her lower lip betrayed her positive thoughts and began to quiver. Then, she burst into sobs.

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

_Four Years Ago _

Anna threw whatever she could find into her overnight bag. Hot tears ran down her cheeks. Her hands were shaking harshly, as she threw her toothbrush into the bag.

"Anna, I'm sorry," Alex cried, coming up behind her. His hands rested on her shoulders and Anna roughly pulled away from him.

"Don't touch me!" She yelled at him. Now her entire body was shaking. Alex brought his hands up to surrender. His eyes had now filled with tears. Anna met his eyes in the mirror and swallowed hard.

"Please don't leave me, Anna. I'm so sorry. I…I didn't mean…please," he begged, as Anna ignored his words. She angrily zipped up the bag and placed it over her shoulder. Turning to face Alex, she locked her lips into a tight line.

"Move," she said strongly.

Alex stayed in his spot. His face growing darker. Anna swallowed hard. She knew that look. Her determination was failing her slightly. His hand came up to grab her hand, but she pressed her body back against the sink and shook her head.

"Don't," she warned. "Just let me leave," she was now begging. Alex's eyes softened.

"Okay, honey," he said sweetly. "I'll be here. I know you love me and won't leave me for good." He moved forward to her and kissed her cheek, making her entire body tightly tense.

Anna took a deep breath and walked around him. She could hear his voice in her head and she wanted to scream. He always knew how to turn the tables to make her seem like the crazy one, but she wasn't. What had happened was wrong. It was the worst thing he had done. She couldn't stay married to someone who would do that.

By the time she made it to Mary's house, she was an absolute mess. Tears had made her eyesight blurry and she was actually surprised she made it there without an accident.

When she reached Mary's door, she pounded on it. Mary answered with baby George on her hip. The little baby gurgled reaching out toward Anna.

"Anna?" Mary's voice was full of concern.

"I…can I stay with you?" Anna asked, her eyes glancing around her anxiously.

"Sure, what's wrong Anna?"

"I…I'm leaving Alex."

-X-X-X-X-X-X-

_Now_

Wiping the tears off her cheeks, Anna pulled herself together. Soon the children would be awake. She took a deep breath and tried not to remember the one time she almost left her husband. Several times, she wished she had gone through with it. But the next morning, she had realized she was late and likely pregnant. She had hoped that another baby would fix things between them. That Alex would be less angry and they would finally be happy. She had been wrong.

She turned and found Penny standing in the doorway. Her blonde locks were a mess around her cherub cheeks. The little girl rubbed her eyes with the back of her fists, before yawning.

"Good morning, Penny," Anna said, walking over to her and picking her up. The small girl was still tired, because she quickly rested her head on Anna's shoulder.

"Don't cry," Penny murmured into Anna's ear. Anna pulled her head back so she could look at Penny's face.

"Mummy's not crying, sweetheart," she promised the small girl.

"I saw you. You were crying." Anna felt a lump form in the base of her throat. She worked so hard to protect her two young children from all the pain and unhappiness.

"I was just a little sick; Mummy is fine now," Anna lied through her teeth. Over the years, she had become a really good liar and it wasn't something she was proud of. "Let's go get some breakfast before Lucas wakes up. Okay?"

"Okay, Mummy."

_To be continued..._

**Thanks for reading! Please let me know what you think. Thank you in advance! **


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

It was nearing 9 o'clock. Anna quietly read on the big chair in the living room and when she glanced at the clock she realized her husband hadn't been lying about getting home late today. She yawned and sat up. She should probably get to bed soon. Lucas still woke up several times at night.

The sound of a car pulling into the driveway, made her glance out of the window. She sighed. It was Alex's car. Slowly, she stood and watched as he got out of the car. Bracing herself, she took in a deep breath. However, when she saw he had a large bouquet of flowers in his hands, she relaxed. Tonight, it appeared, was apologetic Alex.

She stepped back, away from the window, and retook her seat on the big chair. A few moments later, Alex walked in with a big smile on his face. Seeing Anna on the chair, he walked over to her, handed her the flowers, and kissed her cheek.

"What's all this?" She questioned, smiling. It was times like these that made her remember the old Alex, the Alex she had fallen in love with.

"Just beautiful flowers for my beautiful wife," he simply replied. Anna stood to go and put the flowers in some water and Alex followed behind. As she placed the flowers into a vase, Alex wrapped his arms around her frame and rested his head on the nook of her shoulder.

"I'm sorry," he murmured. "Work has been overwhelming and then seeing your ex yesterday at the Crawley house…"

"I know," Anna replied. She stepped away from Alex's arms and placed the flowers on the kitchen table. "It looks nice here, don't you think?"

"Yes. Honey, I was thinking about what you said and I think you're right." Anna glanced up to meet his eyes.

"Right about what?"

"Waiting to have another baby," Alex answered. Anna felt this enormous pressure leaving her shoulders and her lips curled up into a wide grin.

"Truly?" She asked, "You really mean it?"

"I really mean it. Lucas is still very small. We can talk about it again in a year," he said, as he stepped closer to her. His hands rested on her waist and he leaned forward for a kiss. Anna reciprocated, before bringing her hands up and yawning loudly.

"I should probably get to bed. Lucas will be up in a few hours," she told him. Alex's hand ran up her side and rested just below her breast. He nodded and removed his hands from her frame.

"We'll catch up tomorrow."

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

_Five Years Ago _

Anna's eyes read over the box three times and glanced at the stick in her hand. A small smile spread upon her lips. There were two pink lines. It was finally happening. They were going to have a baby. Placing the stick on the counter, she glanced up in the mirror. There was a small shadow under her eye and her smile faltered for a moment. It was an accident, she told herself. He hadn't meant to throw the shoe at her face. Shaking her thoughts away, she reminded herself that today was a good day. She threw the box away and washed her hands.

Moments later, she heard Alex entering the bedroom. Anna grabbed the stick and rushed to meet him. He had a sour expression on his face and she stilled her movements. When he looked up to her, he groaned.

"I hate my job," he told her.

"I'm sorry, but…." Her words faded and she swallowed hard. He was walking toward her and his eyes had that darkness in them. Stepping back a few steps, she just lifted the stick and put it as a shield between the two of them.

Alex paused his steps. Glancing at the stick, his lips fell into a straight line and his eyes twinkled slightly.

"Is that…."

"Yes," Anna replied, with a smile. She nodded her head, "We're going to have a baby."

With that, Alex came forward and lifted Anna up into his arms. He spun her around and kissed her cheek over and over. Anna giggled into his shoulder.

"I told you, baby. I told you it would happen soon!" He said, thrilled. Once he was done spinning, he slowly set Anna down. Then he took her cheeks into his hands and pressed his lips against hers. "A baby," he breathed, pulling away. "This is it, Anna. We're going to have our own little family."

"We are," Anna agreed, beaming. Alex fell onto his knees and placed his ear against her belly. Putting his hand beside his head, he slowly rubbed it up and down.

"It's a boy," Alex said, determined. Anna chuckled.

"Are you so sure there, Alex? It could be a girl." Alex shook his head. Slowly he stood and took her hands into his own.

"It's a boy; I'm sure of it." Anna just shook her head.

"I guess we'll find out for sure soon enough. It's still early. Don't go around telling everyone, just yet," Anna warned.

"I won't," Alex promised, before picking her up again. "We're going to have a baby!"

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

_Now_

Cora's arms wouldn't seem to leave John's neck. John tried to pull away slightly, but she held on a bit tighter. So John leaned into the hug for a moment longer, before Cora finally let him go.

"We missed you," Cora told him. John nodded. He had missed this family too; the family that had taken him in when he was only 15. He now felt guilty for not coming to visit for all these years.

"I missed you, as well," he said sincerely. "But I am back now."

"You should stay here and not at some hotel," Cora stated. Robert, standing beside her, seemed to agree. "We have plenty of rooms. That'll give you time to find your own place."

"That's very kind of you both," John replied. "I will think on it."

"Oh please do," Sybil's voice interrupted. He glanced over to see Sybil in the sitting room playing with young Sybbie. "We live nearby; so does Mary. We could all be close again. Perhaps Mama and Papa could convince you to live on Downton Property."

John chuckled, but when his eyes glanced back to Cora and Robert, he could already see the scheming in their eyes. He sighed. Living back at Downton wouldn't be the worst thing. He didn't have anywhere to live yet. While he had money saved up, it would be nice to save some money.

"Okay. But in a few days. I have some business to attend to right outside of town tomorrow."

Sybil got up from the floor and rushed to John, wrapping her arms tightly around his frame.

"It'll be like old times," she beamed, before stepping back.

"Alright, I should be going."

"We'll see you back soon?" Cora double checked.

"Yes, I'll be back in a few days. Thank you."

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

_Twenty-Seven Years Ago _

There was a loud crash. Five year old John jumped. Yelling could be heard across the house. Slowly, he stood up from playing with his toys. He heard a scream. His small body began to shake, but he still walked toward the noises. Peeking his head outside of his bedroom door, he glanced down the hallway.

"Richard," his mother's voice cried. John's lower lip trembled. With small steps, he made it down the hallway to his parent's door. It was partially opened. He tried to see within the small sliver of the opening, but nothing could be heard. There were loud smacks and then moans coming out of his mother's lips.

Pushing the door slightly, he saw his father towering over his mother. His lips parted. He wanted to say something. His mother looked so scared. He took a step forward and pushed the door all the way open. The sound of the door opening made John's father pause and turn.

"John," his mother cried. "It's okay; Mummy is okay."

His father's face was red and he could tell he was breathing harshly. He walked toward John and grabbed the door.

"Go back to your room," he sneered.

"But…."

"Now!" John's eyes turned back to his mother's.

"Go back, sweetie," she told him, with a nod and a small smile. Stepping back, John watched as his father closed the door in front of his face. He stood waiting. He didn't know what for. The room had fallen quiet, but only for a moment. Soon, he could hear his father yelling at his mother again. He ran to his room.

Entering his room, he slammed his door shut and hid in the corner, covering his ears with his hands.

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

_Now _

Stepping into the cemetery, John thought how today almost was a perfect day. The weather was beautiful. He glanced up at the sky and saw several birds flying up out of a tree. He smiled as one swooped down quickly, before rushing back up at the sky.

He shook his head, before reminding himself why he had come. He headed to the spot he knew well. While he hadn't been there in years, he knew exactly where it was. His eyes fell on two gravestones: Richard and Elizabeth Bates. His lips twisted. Both sites needed some upkeep, he thought. He could tell someone came by regularly to pick up weeds, but that seemed to be the extent of the work.

Bending down at his mother's tombstone, he set down a bouquet of flowers. Then he began to work on making her area look a little bit nicer. He tugged at the overgrown areas and threw them to the side.

"Hi Mum," he finally said, when he was finished with her area. "I know it has been a while. Years ago, I told you I was moving to America. Well, I did. I stayed there for ten years." He continued to talk and to tell her about all of his adventures far away from England. He tried to picture her smile, but every time he did, it was replaced by the frown she often wore. His head turned to his father's grave and he felt hot anger filling his body. His mother's frown was always because of him.

John was about to say something to his father, but he saw a figure out of the corner of his eye. He stood and realized he wasn't dreaming. There, not too far away, sat Anna. He glanced back to his father's grave and shrugged. The man didn't deserve any of his attention anyway.

He slowly headed toward Anna, because he didn't want to disturb or frighten her. John guessed she was here to visit her father. Not too long after John moved, he had gotten the sad news that Anna's father had died. He had put on a long fight against cancer, but it had finally won. John often guessed that was when Alex Green had swooped in and started dating Anna. He seemed like the opportunistic type who would take a sad opportunity to get what he wanted.

Despite trying to be quiet, he stepped on a dead leaf and it made a crackling sound. Anna's head turned. When she saw it was John, she offered him a small smile. John's face faltered when he saw Anna's was covered in fresh tears. Upon seeing John, she wiped them away quickly.

"Hi," Anna said calmly. "Are you here to visit your parents?" John nodded. He watched as Anna shifted the baby in her wrap around her frame. The small boy fussed for just a moment, before settling back to sleep.

"I see you have Lucas with you," he said with a soft smile. "Where's Penny?"  
"She goes to a little Mother's day out program a few days a week for a few hours."

John nodded. "Are you here visiting your father?" His question was innocent, but Anna shook her head. He could see fresh tears forming in her eyes. His eyes followed Anna's and rested onto the small tombstone. When he saw what was written, his heart stopped. _Michael Alexander Green. April 6, 2015. Born Sleeping._

_To be continued..._

_**Please drop a review and let me know what you thought and if you'd like more. Thank you in advance! **_


	5. Chapter 5

**_I'm going to warn you that this chapter is rough. This story in general will, but this one stings. Probably the next couple will as they explore 4 years ago and the background-it'll have importance as people in the past saw things and confirmation for John...you'll see. Anyway, thank you for taking the time to read. _**

**Chapter 5**

_4 and a Half Years Ago_

Anna's brows creased in worry, as her hands ran around the swell of her growing belly. At thirty-five weeks, she felt huge. The palm of her hand pushed into the side and waited patiently for a foot or elbow to push her away. Nothing happened. Her hand moved lower and tried again. Once more, her belly remained still.

Glancing over at her husband, she saw he was still snoozing next to her. As he laid on his belly, a loud snore left his lips. Her lips quivered slightly and she debated on whether or not she should wake him. The clock read two am. There were still several hours until the sun would show.

The past months had been wonderful. If Alex ever got angry, she didn't know it. At home, he was a much calmer man than she had known before. It was as if that year of anger had disappeared. There were no more grabs of her wrists, throws of shoes at her face, fists against her jaw. He had always promised things would get better and they had. The baby had changed him.

She decided to try to lay on her side. Once on her side, she pressed all over her belly, trying to make the baby mad. Eventually, he would have to move, right? He didn't. Tears were now falling down her cheeks. Something was wrong.

She sat back up and pushed Alex's shoulder with her hand. He didn't move.

"Alex," she said quietly. He shifted under the blankets, but didn't awake. "Alex!" This time her voice was louder, stronger. Alex jerked up sharply and met her eyes.

"What?" His voice was not kind. He sighed when he saw the clock. "Why are you waking me in the middle of the night, Anna? I'm sorry if you can't sleep, but I have work in the morning." He began to turn to go back to sleep, but she placed her hand on his shoulder to stop him.

"The baby isn't moving," Anna told him. At that, Alex sat up slightly. He placed his hand over her belly and twisted his lips.

"He's probably sleeping, honey. Go back to sleep." Anna shook her head.

"Something's wrong. I can't remember him moving at all yesterday," she cried.

"I'm sure he's fine," Alex reassured.

"He's not," Anna stated. "We….we need to go to the hospital." Alex opened his mouth to protest, but he could see that Anna wasn't going to drop it until they had seen a doctor.

"Okay."

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

The OBGYN on call that night was Sybil Branson. She was also pregnant. Anna remembered how she, Sybil, and Mary had all excitedly spoken about having children around the same age. Mary had little George the month before, but then a tragic accident had taken Matthew from her. Anna had thought it was the cruelest twist of fate for Mary to lose her husband that way. Since then, Mary had been so withdrawn and it broke Anna's heart.

"Anna," Sybil's voice broke Anna from her thoughts. When she glanced up, Anna's heart broke into shreds. Sybil's face was covered in sorrow and Anna immediately knew what she was going to say. Her head shook back and forth and she buried her face within her hands.

"No," she cried. Sybil's hand came up to rest on her back.

"Alex," Sybil's spoke to the corner of the room where he was sitting playing on his phone. Alex looked up and saw his wife crying. He immediately stood and rushed to her side.

"What's wrong?"

"The baby's heart has stopped. I am so sorry to tell you he's gone."

The most agonizing sound left Anna's lips. Again, her head shook back and forth in disbelief. Her body began to shake harshly and she longed to be held by her husband. He didn't hold her, though. He stepped backwards and told Sybil she had to be wrong.

"I wish I was," Sybil replied with remorse.

"What…..why? Just last week…." Anna's voice faded, as a harsh sob left her lips. At her last appointment, Michael's heart had been so strong. The doctor had told her how strong he was.

Sybil's eyes moved to Alex. He was standing back against the wall with his head in his hands. She sighed. She knew everyone grieved differently, but personally she felt he should be next to his wife during this time. Her hands grabbed Anna's and she gave them a gentle squeeze.

"These things just happen sometimes," Sybil gently said to Anna. "Once you deliver the baby, we can do some tests and see if we can find the cause. Sometimes we can't."

Anna nodded, feeling helpless and lost. Her body shuddered and her arms came around her frame to hold it tightly, needing some kind of comfort. It was then that Alex walked back over to them and shook his head.

"I want a second opinion," he stated harshly. "You're a younger doctor. I want…"

"Alex," Anna said, placing her hand on his upper arm to stop him. "Don't..."

"No," he yelled at Anna, making her flinch. "We will get a second opinion, Anna!"

"Mr. Green," Sybil said sharply, "Let's go outside and talk."

Sybil led Alex into the hallway and took in a deep breath. "If you would like a second opinion, I will find another doctor for you, Mr. Green," her voice was tight and tempered. "But you will not yell at my patient. I understand you are grieving and hurt, but I will not allow that here. If you can't control your temper, I will have someone escort you out."

Alex's face softened slightly and he nodded.

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

After a second doctor confirmed the prenatal death of their baby, Sybil took back over. She told them they had two choices. Anna could carry the baby until she went into labor or they could induce now. She had chosen the latter. Sybil agreed it was the better choice. She and Alex were quickly escorted to a delivery room and then everything became a blur.

The pain of delivery was nothing compared to the pain Anna felt now. Sybil placed her lifeless baby into her arms and she bit her lower lip. The small baby boy looked as though he was just asleep. Her finger caressed his jaw and she sighed. He had her nose. Slowly, she brought her finger up to touch the edge of his nose. Tears welled up in her eyes, as she remembered his lips would never coo and he would never call her Mama.

Anna turned her head to Alex, but saw he was gone. He had been there through the entire delivery, holding her hand, but now he was nowhere to be found. A lump formed in her throat and she returned her attention to the bundle in her arms.

"I'm sorry," she whispered to the small babe. "I am so sorry."

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

_Now_

Seeing the tombstone before him, John could feel his heart ripping into shreds. No one had ever told him that Anna had lost a baby. He swallowed hard, before slowly sitting himself near Anna on the grass. Peering at Anna, he could see the sadness and longing in her eyes.

"Oh Anna, I am so sorry," he finally said, feeling absolutely incompetent. Anna's hand came up to her cheek and she wiped a fresh tear that had begun to fall.

"I….when I had Penny, I thought the pain would get lighter, easier, but it didn't. It got worse," Anna said into the air. "As Penny and Lucas get bigger, I just think of Michael and what he would be like now."

"I should probably go," John said, suddenly feeling as though he was intruding in her personal moment with her son. Anna's hand reached over and rested on his upper arm to stop him.

"No, please don't. It's nice having someone else here. Alex never comes. I…I think it's too painful for him," Anna told John. With Anna's request, John knew he couldn't leave now. He had never been able to tell her no.

"I…I know it's not the same thing," John began, as he tried to fill the space between them with words, "But my wife and I had a miscarriage once." Anna's eyes glanced to his and he could see she felt sorry for him. "Our marriage was already rocky at that point and it was the final straw of our marriage. There was so much pain there and that ripped us apart completely. I…I should have been a better husband to her, when it happened, but I was so lost in my pain about the loss…"

"Did…did you blame her?" Anna questioned. John's head tilted to the side. The way she asked the question made his heart tighten in his chest.

"No, absolutely not. Did Alex blame you?" He asked. Anna's eyes glanced away quickly and she shook her head.

"No, of course not." He didn't believe her. The way she had asked the question, it was as though she was trying to make sure it hadn't only happened to her. His jaw tightened. He wanted to push her more, ask her more questions, but he didn't.

For the next few moments, the two remained quiet. John felt so uneasy sitting there next to her, because he knew he loved her. He had always known it. In the end, he was sure that was why his marriage had failed. He loved someone more than his wife. The ghost of Anna had always been there. It hadn't been fair to his wife and he knew that. His lips pierced and he looked down at the bundle in Anna's arms. It hurt to know she couldn't be his anymore. But he also felt where she was wasn't safe. There were too many signs that led him to believe Alex Green was not a good husband to Anna. He just didn't know how to prove it or approach it with Anna. He remembered his mother and how she never left his father. His lips curled into a slight frown.

"I come here every Wednesday," Anna finally said, breaking the silence. Her hand was now pressed against the stone. John's brows furrowed. He wondered if she was telling him this as an offer to join her again in the future, or if she was just filling the silence. "He would be four and a half now. When I look at George and Sybbie, I wonder…." Her words paused and she shook her head. Then she glanced down at her watch and sighed. "I have to go and pick up Penny now." Anna's hand lingered on the stone for another moment, before she slowly pulled herself up.

John helped her and she gave him a smile of thanks.

"It was nice having someone else here," Anna told him.

"Perhaps I could join you again another time?" He tested. He watched as her lips twisted and she slowly nodded.

"Yes, that could be nice." She gave him a quick nod and then headed back to her car. He watched as she placed Lucas into the back of her car, before stepping into her seat. As she pulled away, he felt a sense of longing. He wanted to follow her home and beg her to tell him all about Alex, but he kept himself stuck in his spot. He would have to have proof before saying anything, and even then there was no assurance that she would actually leave him.

Sighing, he headed back to Downton. He had some new questions to ask.

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

_Four and a Half Years Ago _

The air felt heavy. Days went by slowly. Nothing seemed real, not anymore. The past few weeks had gone by in a daze. She wasn't sure what day of the week it was and she didn't care. Mainly, she would sit on the edge of the bed and stare out the window.

Alex was never home anymore. He would leave like a thief in the night and then return in the late hours. She knew he was mourning in his own way, but she had thought they would mourn together. Now, she was always alone.

The Crawleys had all visited her, of course, and The Carsons, Daisy, Mrs. Patmore, and even Thomas. It seemed all the kind people at Downton Abbey really cared about her. Her friendship with Mary and time she dated John, seemed to make an impact on them all. Mary had been by the day before, but she was still mourning Matthew. She hadn't been able to stay long. Anna didn't blame her. Life was hard now for the both of them, just in different ways.

The worst part, Anna thought, was that her body was still full of all these physical reminders of what she had lost. Her milk had come in and it made her breasts ache. There was still the loose skin around her stomach to remind her where her baby had been and between her legs still ached from the delivery.

She curled herself up into a ball and just sighed. Tears rarely came anymore. Perhaps, they had all dried out.

She heard a noise down the hallway and quickly sat up. Pressing her ear toward the door, she heard it again. It sounded as though it was coming from the nursery. Anna stood and cautiously walked that way.

When she entered the nursery, she found Alex placing all of Michael's clothes into a large cardboard box. Her eyes widened and she began to shake her head.

"What….what are you doing?" She asked, her voice shaking. She stepped toward him and tried to take the box from his hands. He jerked it away and ignored her. "Alex, those….those are Michael's."

"The office is collecting clothes for children in need," he simply answered, grabbing another stack of clothes to throw in the box. Anna painfully watched as all the pieces she had picked out for her son were just haphazardly thrown into the cardboard. Her hands began to shake and she stepped forward again.

"No, you…you can't have them. I…I bought them for Michael."

"Michael is dead, Anna," Alex screamed, snatching the box back away from her. "He died. There are children alive who need it. Children whose mothers didn't lose them in the womb; who didn't fail them." The words were like a slap against her cheek. She stepped back and felt her entire body beginning to tremble.

"Take…take it back," she pleaded to him. "Take it back. I…I loved him. I did everything…"

"Not enough," Alex sneered, as he closed the box and headed toward the door. Anna felt her resolve fading, but she needed those clothes. She followed behind him and grabbed toward the box. Anna lost her footing when the back of Alex's hand came across her cheek. Her hand flew up to rest on the sting and she helplessly watched as Alex went down the stairs and out the front door with the box of clothes.

Tears began to build within her eyes and she rested her head against the floor, before beginning to sob.

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

_Now_

Anna watched as the clock ticked. It was nearing midnight. She knew she should be asleep, but she couldn't. The day had worn her out. Being at Michael's grave and then talking to John had taking a lot out of her. John seemed to see right through her. And yet, she enjoyed his company. Something about being right next to him made her feel safe. She sighed. It was wrong. She was married to Alex. He was her husband.

She swung her legs over the side of the bed and stood. Walking to the dresser, she opened the top drawer and reached to the very back. There sat the one thing she had of Michael's. It was a blanket with his name sewn on the edge. Her fingers ran over the stitching and she felt new tears bubbling behind her eyes. Shaking, she hid the blanket. Alex didn't like any reminders of their son they had lost.

Once Michael was gone, all their happiness had faded as well. Anna realized now that happiness had been fake. Alex had been the same before and it would have come out again one day. But the six months following Michael's death had been brutal. Alex blaming Anna had been constant. He was angry all the time and Anna had gotten the brunt of it. It led up to the worst thing. Anna shuddered remembering how he had….. No, she shook her head. He wouldn't do it again. He promised. And he had kept that promise. She almost left him too. Maybe she should have, she thought with a shuddering breath. When she realized she was pregnant with Penny, though, she thought he would be happy again, be the Alex he was before they lost Michael. She had been so naïve.

Her body ached and she walked toward the window, glancing down as the moon light filled the streets. Headlights came down the driveway and she quickly skirted to bed. Closing her eyes, she pretended to be asleep. Her husband joined her into bed a few minutes later.

As the night went on, Anna thought how this couldn't be normal; how a wife shouldn't want to avoid her husband and be glad when he was gone for long periods of time. Eventually, with these thoughts swirling in her head, she fell asleep.

_To be continued..._

**As always, please let me know what you think. The next chapter or two will explore the past some more before moving more to the now time period. Someone, you might not consider, will be the one to confirm John's thoughts about Green. Any guesses? Thank you for reading! And thanks in advance for taking the time to review! **


	6. Chapter 6

_Thanks for reading!_

**Chapter 6**

Steam rose over the coffee cup in John's hand and he thought about how he was grateful for its warmth this chilly morning. He had been back for nearly a month now. Today was a Wednesday and he debated going by the cemetery to see if he could run into Anna again. He had tried a couple of times over the past month, but had been unsuccessful. He wondered if Anna was avoiding him or if it was just coincidental. She was a married woman and perhaps she didn't feel right spending time alone with him.

John questioned if his negative feelings against Alex were just because of jealousy. Maybe he wanted him to be a bad person so he could steal Anna away from him. John sighed. No, he didn't want him to be that type of person. He wanted Anna to be happy, even if it wasn't with him.

Taking a sip of coffee, John turned his attention to the backyard. He could see young Sybbie running around with Robert. It made him chuckle to himself. He knew Robert hadn't been very hands on when his children were younger and that he regretted it. It seemed he was trying to make up for that with his grandchildren. After staying with his foster family for nearly a month, he realized they kept Sybbie three days during the week on the days both Tom and Sybil worked. It seemed Cora and Robert cherished that time.

"Hi." Mary's voice made him turn. She had George standing next to her with his hand in hers. John quickly realized that Mary and Sybil would just come into the home at all hours throughout the day as though they still lived there. It was kind of a nice feeling to know that they were all still so close. Robert and Cora had already told him to stay as long as he needed and they had hinted at a new house being built on their property that would need a resident soon. John hadn't decided if he wanted to live there, but there were definitely positives to being a true part of the Crawley clan.

"Good morning," John told them both. George began to shrug off his jacket, but Mary placed her hand on his shoulder to stop him.

"Grandpapa is out back playing with Sybbie. Keep your coat on if you want to join them." Mary didn't have to say it twice. With a flash, George passed John and flew outside the back door. Mary just rolled her eyes and grabbed a mug to pour some coffee into it.

"You know," Mary began, her lips piercing tightly. "I remembered something last night…." She paused, the cup of coffee sitting right below her lips. Her hand cupped the warm mug and she slowly turned toward John. Placing the cup back onto the counter she twisted her lips. "I….It's probably nothing. I had forgotten, because when it happened I was away with George. It was a few months after Matthew died and I was in an awful place. Anna had just lost her baby and I…I wasn't the best friend to her. I was too caught up in my own grief and I ran away for a little while."

"Grief can do terrible things to us," John replied. "I don't think Anna thinks any less of you. You were both grieving. She had her husband to help her through your pain and you didn't." Even though John wasn't sure that was true for Anna, he didn't know that it wasn't. He hoped Alex had been there to help Anna through her grief.

"Well, you see….." Mary paused. John could tell she was contemplating on telling him.

"Mary…"

"I don't want you jumping to conclusions," Mary finally stated. "Anna and Alex have been married for six years. Just because you have come back, doesn't mean you can steal her away." John's jaw tightened.

"I don't want to."

Mary's eyes rose, "I know you still love her."

At that, John couldn't reply. He wasn't going to lie, but saying the words out loud couldn't happen either. Instead, John decided to go back to what Mary had brought up.

"Are you going to tell me or not?"

"About two months or so after Anna lost the baby, someone broke into their house and beat Anna up pretty badly. She ended up in the hospital with broken ribs and needing several stitches."

"What?! Did they find the person who did it?" John asked, although he knew what the answer was. He was right; Mary shook her head. "It was Alex," John stated angrily. "He beat her up."

"John, you don't know that. Anna said someone had broken in. Alex wasn't even home when it happened."

"Sure," John said with a quipped tongue. "He blamed her for losing the baby and beat her up."

"What?" Mary shockingly questioned. "No. I know he can be a bit controlling, but I know Anna would not stay with someone like that. You just don't like him and you're hoping there's some sinister story going on so you can swoop in and save her."

"You don't know what people will put up with, Mary. How they can be manipulated and made to think they are worth nothing," John's voice was filled with sadness. Mary hadn't lived within an abusive relationship and seen the way these things happened. John watched as Mary's face faltered. "You don't like him either," John countered. Mary's lips twisted.

"No, I don't." John's eyes narrowed.

"If you didn't want me to think anything of this information, then why tell me?" Mary shifted uneasily. "Perhaps you do want me to suspect something because you aren't comfortable with him either." Mary sighed uneasily.

"Perhaps." She didn't deny it.

"When Anna came to you to leave Alex, did she tell you anything? Anything at all that made you suspicious of Alex?" At that, Mary shook her head sharply.

"No, nothing. It had been six months since she lost Michael. I just thought…." Mary's words faded. "I do hope we're wrong," Mary finally said moments later. John didn't reply. He just watched Mary's face carefully. There was regret and concern over her features. He wondered if she had been trying to convince herself for years that her thoughts were wrong. He wasn't sure. Mary was a stubborn and strong person, but she could be one to be overly hard on herself too.

"Me too," John finally replied. "And even if we aren't, that doesn't make you a bad friend, Mary. Women in these situations know how to cover things up. My mom, she…." John just shook his head. He couldn't talk about it, not even after all this time. "I should probably get going. I have a meeting in an hour. Have a good day, Mary."

-X-X-X-X-X-X-

_4 and a Half Years Ago_

Anna's hand flew up to her head, but the motion made her cry out in pain. A sharp breath left her lips and her eyes jerked open.

"Shh," a kind voice murmured to her. She turned her head slightly to see Cora Crawley sitting next to her and slowly bringing a cup of water up to her lips. Anna graciously took a sip of the water, before her eyes glanced around the room.

"Where…where am I?" Each word made her head pound harsher. The bright lights made her reclose her eyes. She tried to remember what happened. The last thing she remembered was Alex coming home from work in a bad mood. He had found her in Michael's nearly bare nursery. She had yelled at him for getting rid of all of his things. Then there had been a fist against her cheek and he grabbed her upper arms, screaming in her face. But then the rest was a blur. Why was she so incredibly sore all over?

"You're in the hospital, Anna." Cora explained. "Alex said he came home and found you like this." The way Cora said these words sounded like she didn't believe them. Anna slowly opened her eyes and met Cora's. "Anna," Cora said quietly. "Did…did Alex do this to you?"

Anna's lower lip trembled and she glanced away from Cora's knowing stare. She felt as Cora gently took her hand and gave it a small squeeze of reassurance.

"If he did this, Anna, Robert and I can help you. You just say the word and I…." Cora's words paused as the door to Anna's room swung open. There standing with a big bouquet of flowers stood Alex. Cora shifted uneasily, but offered him a small smile.

"Honey," Alex's voice rang sweetly in the air. He stepped forward and bypassed Cora. He gave Cora a quick nod. "Thank you for sitting with Anna while I tied up some loose ends at work so I can be here with her."

"Of course," Cora answered. She glanced at Anna briefly, before heading out of the room. Anna suddenly felt very vulnerable. She swallowed hard, as Alex placed the bouquet of flowers on the table next to her. Then he swooped down and placed a kiss to her forehead.

"I'm so sorry," he muttered into her ear. "So sorry, honey, so so so sorry." His words were fast and tight. "I…I was just so stressed with work and missing Michael. You know how I can get. I…I didn't mean to take it this far. If you hadn't lost Michael, I wouldn't be this lost, you know." Anna nodded. She had been told so many times over the past month and a half that losing Michael was her fault that she now believed it. How could she blame Alex for being so angry with her when he had lost his son? She probably deserved all of this and more.

"I…I know," Anna croaked out. "It's okay. I'm sorry….I'm sorry." Alex kissed her cheek and sat down on the chair next to Anna. He took her hand into his and stroked the top of her hand with his thumb.

"We'll tell the police someone broke in," he told her, with no room for disagreements. "And I'll do better controlling my emotions, Anna. You…you just can't make me angry anymore, okay?"

Anna nodded. And that's what she had done. When the police came in, she said she didn't remember much. She just knew that someone had broken in to their house. She claimed the person knocked her out and so she couldn't remember what he looked like. The lying came too easily to her. It didn't even occur to her that she had forgotten what it felt like not having to cover up things for her husband.

Once she came home from the hospital weeks later, Alex did keep on his best behavior, at least physically. His words were still spears into her heart reminding her of her failures and how it was up to her to keep him happy. Yet for a little while, she did believe he could change. She even thought that having another baby would possibly make things better. So she began to try for a new one. At times she hated herself for trying to replace Michael. She hit an all-time low. But things were getting slightly better. It wasn't until four months later that Alex crossed a bigger line that made her finally snap out of the cycle of depression and abuse she was in. However, that hadn't lasted long. Too soon after, she went right back into it.

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

_Now _

A chill ran down Anna's spine as a gust of wind passed through her frame. She tightened her jacket and pushed the pram into the cemetery. She paused for a moment and tightened the large blanket around Lucas.

"We won't be here long," she promised the small boy. Anna pulled her scarf around her throat and made sure it was pulled up high enough to cover her most recent bruise.

Across the way, she could see John standing at his parents' graves. She took in a deep breath and debated turning and heading back to her car. She had been avoiding him all month. Seeing him at the cemetery before had stirred up too many feelings inside of her. They were feelings a married woman shouldn't have for another man. She didn't turn away, however. Instead, she continued her path to Michael's grave.

When she bent down to her son's stone, she could feel eyes on her. She knew soon John would be next to her. Anna kissed the top of her fingers and pressed it against the grave.

"Hi," she murmured.

"Anna," John's voice came behind her moments later. Anna turned her head slightly so she could see John and she offered him the tiniest of smiles.

"Hello," she told him, turning back away from him. Lucas began to fuss and she quickly jumped up and grabbed him into her arms. The small boy's face was scrunched up into an angry growl and he flung his hands, which caused her scarf to unravel and fall to the ground. John bent down to grab the scarf. She turned quickly to take the scarf from his hands, but not before a sharp gasp left John's lips. Meeting his eyes, she could see they were staring at her neck. Anna jerked the scarf out of his hands and quickly wrapped it back around her.

"Anna…." John breathed. A lump had grown in his throat. Any doubt in himself he had before this moment was gone. He was now sure Alex was a monster.

"I need to go." Anna placed the still mad Lucas back into his pram and began to push him away from John. John quickly snapped out of his trance and followed Anna.

"You can't stay with him," John called after her. Anna ignored him. "Anna, he…."

Anna sharply turned back to John. "You don't know what's going on, John. You're just making assumptions. Leave it alone."

"There are finger marks on your neck, Anna. It doesn't take a genius to figure it out." Anna swallowed hard. She stepped backwards slightly and her eyes darted around her anxiously.

"It's not like that…." Her words were weak, but she didn't falter.

"I know he beat you up so badly once that you ended up in the hospital, Anna," John countered. Anna met his eyes. He thought he would see fear or hope for help, but all he saw was emptiness.

"He didn't. It was a robber or….or something," she feebly explained. "I think you should just leave it alone, John. Go and live your life and I'll live mine. I haven't been yours for a long time." Anna turned back around and John could feel a hopelessness fill his frame.

"And when he comes after the children?" He watched as Anna briefly paused at his words. She didn't respond, however, and just began to walk again. "They always do, Anna. I know you don't want that for your children."

Anna stopped and he studied her movements carefully. Her head shook and she turned her head to the side, so that he could see her silhouette.

"Alex isn't a threat to Penny or Lucas. He loves them; he loves _me_. You're wrong about it all. These marks aren't from Alex. I…I got them from…." Her words faded and John knew it was because she couldn't come up with a good enough lie to cover it up. Instead, she returned her attention to the pram and moved away from John.

As he watched her walk away, John felt more helpless than he ever had in his life.

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

Closing the bathroom door behind her, Anna pressed her frame against the wall and began to sob. She felt so trapped. Alex loved her. He did. _He did_. Her arms wrapped around her body and she held herself tightly. Tears were cascading down her cheeks and she felt so incredibly lost.

Her eyes met her own in the mirror, before they slid down to her neck. The angry finger shaped bruises made her close her eyes. But closing her eyes only brought her back to when it had happened.

_"I haven't finished supper yet; Lucas took a while to fall asleep."_

_ "I have asked for supper to be ready before I get home, Anna. I have a lot of paperwork I need to get done before bedtime." His voice was even. _

_ "I know, but that isn't always possible, Alex. We have two small…" She hadn't been able to finish her sentence, because in one quick swoop, he had grabbed her by the neck and slammed her against the wall. As his hands tightened around her neck, she had reached her hands up to try and pull him away. _

_ "Don't tell me what's impossible, Anna. I work a long day so you can stay home with the children. All I ask for is a hot meal when I am home." His hand tightened and she had gasped for air. Tears stung behind her eyes, but she had nodded. He threw her on the ground a moment later. _

_ "I'm going out for a drink," he then sneered, leaving her alone on the cold floor. _

Opening her eyes, Anna straightened herself up. She wiped the tears from her eyes and went back into the hallway. Walking down the narrow strip, she could see a new huge bouquet of flowers sitting on the kitchen table. Her lips curled into a frown. She wondered how much money was spent on flowers by Alex on a monthly basis.

There was a card sitting next to the bouquet. She picked it up and opened it.

_Honey, I love you! Don't make dinner tonight. I have something special planned. Love always, Alex. _

She placed the card back on the table and twisted her lips. A sigh escaped her and she just shook her head. Gone were the days when surprises excited her. She just prayed this apologetic Alex lasted for a while. Angry/jealous Alex had been in full force lately and it had been worse since John had come back into town.

"Mummy!" Penny's voice drew her from her thoughts. She sat up and felt panicked. Penny should still be at school. Standing, she saw Penny walking into the kitchen with Alex behind her. "Daddy picked me up from school early."

Alex caught her lips into his and gave her a smile.

"I thought we could have a fun family afternoon. I got off of work early," he told her.

"That's nice," Anna tried to say evenly.

"Come on," Alex said, taking her hand. "There are more surprises to come."

Swallowing hard, Anna nodded and followed her husband. "Okay."

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

"Dammit!" John yelled. He accidentally hit his hand against the side of the coffee pot. Ever since he had gotten back to Downton that afternoon, he had been fumbling at everything he did. Anger was soaring through his body. He wanted to go over to the Green house and show Alex Green what a coward he was. Only a coward would beat up someone as kind and wonderful as Anna. Every time he closed his eyes, he could see the angry marks on Anna's neck. There was no way of covering those up or making sense of that with a decent lie.

"Is everything alright?" Cora asked kindly. John turned to see Cora standing in the doorway. John gave her a small nod and smile.

"Yes, sorry for the yelling. I accidentally burned my hand."

"You have seem out of sorts since you got back this afternoon. Did something happen?" John's jaw tightened. He wanted to tell Cora what he had found, but he couldn't break Anna's trust like that. He knew how delicate of a situation this was. However, Cora seemed to be able to read him.

"Does this have anything to do with Anna?"

"Why do you ask that?" John asked quickly. Cora motioned for him to take a seat at the island with her.

"You have always loved her, John. Did you see her today?" John nodded.

"I did. You never told me about Michael or her ending up in the hospital soon after." He watched as Cora's eyes fell slightly.

"I know and I should have. You were just in your own life in America. I didn't tell you much about Anna, because you had both moved on. You were both married." John knew she was right. What could he have done about it anyway?

"I saw her today. I..." he caught himself and stopped talking.

"I do hope she'll listen to you," Cora said, making John eye her suspiciously.

"What?" Cora sighed.

"You know, your mother and I were close. I tried so many times to get her to leave your father," Cora stated. John suddenly felt strange. Cora had known all those years? It did make sense. "I saw the signs early on with Alex," Cora continued. "When she ended up in the hospital….." Cora paused. "I…I have been trying to get her to leave Alex for years, John. From experience, it won't happen." Cora reached over and rested her hand on top of his wrist. "But maybe she'll listen to you. She still loves you."

"She doesn't."

"She does. Alex is threatened by you, John." Cora stood and her eyes lingered toward the window. "I just hope her end isn't the same as your parents." With a heavy sigh, Cora returned her eyes to John. He could see they were filled with tears. "I'm sorry I couldn't save her for you." After that, Cora walked away. John was pretty sure she had been talking about his mother, but part of him thought she was talking about Anna as well.

_To be continued..._

**Like it? Want more soon? Let me know! Thank you in advance. :)**


	7. Chapter 7

_This chapter is the shortest since the first chapter. It's an important chapter, but kind of a transition chapter before things get heavy again. Thanks for all the support! This is a tough story and I am trying to make sure I write it as realistically as possible. _

**Chapter 7**

For nearly two weeks, Alex had been overly kind and generous. Just this morning, he woke Anna up with breakfast in bed. When Anna walked down the stairs, she found Alex playing blocks with Penny on the floor and Lucas was next to them on a blanket. The simple sight made Anna smile. Perhaps Alex realized he had gone too far again by grabbing her by the neck. The bruises were beginning to fade, though. Anna knew, from experience, that once his reminders were no longer there, small things would begin to build up into bigger things again. Anna decided to take this opportunity to ask Alex something.

She sat down on the floor with her family and Penny climbed into her lap. The little girl rested her head on Anna's shoulder, while Anna ran her hand over her soft hair.

"I've been thinking…." Anna began carefully. Alex had never gotten angry in front of the children, so Anna felt a little guilty bringing this up in front of them. He was the epitome of the doting father. In many ways, he gave into Penny's whims too much. But Anna preferred that than her ever facing the angry side of her father.

"Maybe we should go to couples therapy," Anna finished. She watched Alex's face cautiously. His lips fell into a straight line and she could see him thinking her words over. "I….We could work on what I do to upset you so much…I just…don't we want more for Penny and Lucas?"

"Okay," Alex said with a smile. He perched over, using his hands on the floor to lift himself up, and caught Anna's lips with his own. When he pulled away, he ran his hand up and down Anna's arm. "Whatever will make you happy, honey."

"This will, Alex," she quickly replied. "It really will. I want us to be happy. I want the four of us to be happy."

"Me too."

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

John pulled his jacket off the hook and pulled it up and over his shoulders. He stepped outside of the restaurant and began the trek to the other side of town. His business was finally beginning to take off here in England. He had been worried about the transition, but thankfully, it hadn't gone poorly. He was still living with Cora and Robert. Soon, he planned on moving into the new house being built on their property. He would be able to pay them rent and still be close, but not feel like a burden. (Even though Cora insisted he wasn't.)

He hadn't seen Anna in over a month. Weekly, he had searched for her at the gravesite and had asked Mary if she had heard from her, but there was nothing. Anna had disappeared for the time being. He didn't know how to get Anna away from Alex safely. John wanted to go to their house and kill him. That was the feeling deep within him, but he knew he couldn't do that. Not to Anna. Even if Alex was a monster, he was her husband and the children's father.

Running his hand through his hair, he stopped short. There across the way was Anna, with Alex and her children. Penny was sitting on Alex's shoulders and Lucas was in Anna's carrier across her chest. He ducked his head to try to avoid them, but Alex seemed to spot him.

"Mr. Bates!" He called. John groaned inwardly, but glanced up and gave them a smile. As he stepped forward, he glanced up at Penny. He realized it was the first time he had meet her. All the previous times he saw Anna, she had only Lucas with her. The little girl was a carbon copy of Anna. There appeared to be no Alex Green in her features and it made John happy for her.

"Hello, Alex, Anna," he said uncomfortably. Then his eyes shifted back up to Penny, "And you, too, Penny."

"Penny, this is an old friend of mine and your dad's," Anna explained to the girl. "His name is John Bates."

"Hi," Penny said excitedly. John quickly realized the girl was not shy. She actually reached out her hands toward John and asked him to hold her.

"No, no, sweet pea," Alex told her. "You'll stay with Daddy." John noticed a glimmer in Alex's eye. His hand came up behind Anna's back and he pulled her closer to him. Alex had called to him to show him, once again, that Anna was his. That he had a family with Anna when he didn't. John's jaw tightened and he felt the urge to punch Alex right in the nose.

"I should probably get going," John said. "I hope you are all doing well," he added, glancing at Anna. Anna's body tensed slightly and she avoided his gaze.

"Goodbye," Anna said, her eyes were focused on the baby in her arms.

John stepped away and walked around the corner. His heart was beating harshly in his chest and he had to take several deep breaths, before walking away

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

About two weeks later, John was surprised to find Anna alone at the cemetery. She was standing at the edge of the lot and her eyes were glancing out over the side. It was freezing outside, so she was wrapped up in a big jacket and there was a dark hat on her head. She was so still that, for a moment, John thought she might just be a figment of his imagination.

"Anna? Where's Lucas?" Anna turned to face him. She breathed out and the air fogged up at her warm breath.

"Cora offered to keep him on Wednesday mornings, so I can come here and not have to bring him out into the cold." John didn't know why, but the fact Anna was letting Cora watch her son made him hopeful. If she was leaning back on Cora, perhaps she would take her up on her offer to help her.

"That's nice." Anna nodded.

"It is."

"Anna…."

"We're going to couple's therapy, John," Anna said, meeting his eyes. "He….he hasn't laid a hand on me in almost two months. He….he wants to do better."

John twisted his lips. Anna had set this meeting up on purpose. She knew he would be waiting here every week for her. And she wasn't wrong.

"And does he talk openly about what happens in this therapy, Anna?" John questioned her. Anna's eyes darted to the ground. "He doesn't," John answered for her.

"He..he's trying, John," Anna stated. John's head shook.

"Yes, well my father tried too, Anna," he harshly stated. "He actually tried to get better right before he got drunk, pushed my mother into the car, and ran the two of them off a cliff." Anna looked up and swallowed hard. John had never told her what had happened with his parents. It was something he didn't speak of much. As far as everyone was concerned, his parents had died in an accident. He hadn't wanted the attention the truth would bring. When he and Anna had dated, he didn't even tell her. It was something he didn't like to talk about.

"I….I didn't know," Anna murmured, her lower lip slightly trembling. "You…you just said they died in an accident."

"No, it wasn't an accident. I was in the house as my dad drug her to the car. I…I remember her screams. I..I tried to stop him…." John's voice faded. A few tears fell from his eyes. He shrugged his memories off and turned his attention back to Anna. "He beat on my mom for years. He promised many times to get better. He never did, Anna."

"I…..I'm so sorry, John," Anna finally said. "Alex is going to get better. He loves us…."

"Anna," John sighed. "He isn't honest with the therapist. He's not going to change."

Anna began to pull on her gloves and replace them over her hands. He could tell that deep down she knew he was right. For therapy to work, the truth would have to come out. But Alex wasn't going to tell the truth. John had a sneaking suspicion that Anna put all the blame on herself in these sessions. He knew how the abuser could manipulate everything that happened to make it seem like it was the victim's fault.

"We have children, John. If…If I leave him, then what? He'll still want his children," Anna's lower lip began to tremble. "He's not going to let me take them. I…I have to try to fix things."

"I can help you figure that out, Anna," John said, stepping closer to her. "We can talk to a lawyer. There has to be a way…."

"No, John. I won't risk my children's futures. He won't let them go. I have to try to work it out with Alex."

"What if he comes after the children next?"

"He won't." Anna said strongly. Seeing her face, John saw that she truly believed that. But he also saw fear in there. She was concerned about losing them if she left Alex.

"You're staying for your kids," John simply said, it suddenly hitting him. "Anna…you need to _leave_ for them. Leaving Alex is the only way to protect them and yourself."

"We aren't in danger, John."

"Until he kills you," John replied. Anna shifted uncomfortably in front of him, but didn't say anything. "What happens to your children if their father kills you?"

"He…he won't." Anna's voice wasn't strong. "I….We have to stop meeting here, John. It isn't right for my marriage. He's getting better. He…he wants to do better for me and our children."

"Anna…."

Before he could say anything else, John watched as Anna turned away and disappeared from his sight.

_To be continued..._

_**Hold on to you hats, because things are about to get rough. This was a lighter chapter to give you a breather before that hits. Thank you for reading! Please leave a comment to let me know if you liked it and would like more! **_


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

_4 Years Ago_

Anna stood alone in their bedroom and a shiver ran down her spine. She stepped forward and saw Alex's car pulling into the driveway. A long sigh left her lips. She brought her hand up to tighten her robe around her shoulder. Her eyes darted to the bed and she questioned if she had time to feign sleep.

Today had been a bad day for her emotionally. She had taken a walk at the park and there were several babies with their parents outside. The hurt from losing Michael was deep within her bones. She felt like she would never be whole again.

"Hey honey," Alex's voice came from behind her. She turned to him and offered him the slightest smile. Alex walked up to her and ran his hands up her arm, resting them on her shoulders. He bent over and kissed her quickly.

"Hi," she responded, when he pulled away. She expected him to step back and start getting ready for bed. But he didn't. His hands moved down to the tie of her robe and he began to untie it. Anna's hands went to his and stilled his movements. "Not now, Alex. I….I don't feel up to it."

"You don't feel up to it?" He sneered. He stepped closer to her. She winced, unsure of what would come.

"I'm tired and I…I don't feel well," she explained. She took a few steps back and saw as his eyes darkened.

"I don't honestly care how you feel, Anna," he told her. "You owe me a baby. If I want to be intimate with my wife, then we will be intimate."

"No," Anna argued. He had always been able to manipulate her into having sex with him, even when she didn't feel up to it, but she wasn't going to allow it tonight. "No," she said, this time stronger. "I don't want to."

His next movements surprised her. She expected to get slapped across the face or her hair pulled, but then to be left alone. That didn't happen. He grasped her shoulders and pressed his lips against her.

"No, no, Alex!" She yelled, as he pulled his lips away. He pulled her to the bed and ignored her screams. As she tried to pull away from him, he kneed her in the stomach.

"You don't tell me no," he harshly whispered into her ear. Tears began to stream down her cheeks. She could hear him unzipping his pants.

"Please Alex," she pleaded, before her screams filled the room.

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

_Now_

Anna jerked awake. She hadn't had memories of that night in a long time. Her breaths were sharp and she took several deep breaths in an attempt to calm herself down. It was just a dream, Anna told herself. _No it wasn't_, the voice inside her stated. No, she had to agree. It wasn't. That was the moment that made her leave Alex the first time. But in the end, she had convinced herself that it hadn't been as she remembered, that he hadn't _forced_ her; hadn't….no, she couldn't think of that word.

Her eyes turned to face his sleeping frame and she slowly snuck out of the room. She needed a drink of water. Slowly, she made her way down the stairs and got a glass. Taking a sip, she sighed. She tried not to let the words that John had said to her float through her head, but it was difficult not to.

Alex wouldn't kill her. He wouldn't harm the children. A shudder passed through her frame. She was only sure about one of those two statements. There had been that time she ended up in the hospital. A moment when he bashed her head into the wall, she had thought that may be the end. And at the time, she had wished it was.

But she had children now, two little ones who needed her. If she died, how would they be protected?

"Anna?" Alex's groggy voice called from the bottom of the stairs. Anna felt her entire body tense. He hadn't laid a hand on her since the time he left the fingerprints on her neck, but she still feared him.

"I…I'm in the kitchen," she answered. He walked into the room and had a worried expression on his face.

"I woke up and you were gone," he told her.

"I just needed some water," she answered. Alex nodded. He made several steps toward her and pressed a simple kiss on her cheek.

"I think we should go on a holiday," he said to her. Anna's eyes widened. They hadn't been on a trip together since their honeymoon.

"Do we have the funds for that?" She watched as his eyes flashed with darkness. He didn't like to be questioned. But his eyes softened.

"Yes."

"Where would we go?"

"I don't know yet," he replied. Anna's lips pierced and she nodded.

"Okay, but don't you think we should wait until Lucas is a bit older and sleeping through the night?"

The darkness filled Alex's eyes again. Being patient for the past several months, seemed to have hit its limit. He quickly grabbed her shoulders and pushed her against the wall. Anna gasped in shock.

"Why don't you want to go on a holiday with me, huh, Anna?" His hands tightened, as he spoke.

"I…I do. I…I just…..What about therapy? What about not…." He pulled her away from the wall and then slammed her back against it.

"Stop it!" He screamed at her. Anna felt the tears build up behind her eyes. Things hadn't changed. As always, she had been wrong.

His hands slackened against her shoulders and she wiggled out of his grasp. She took a few steps forward, before he grabbed the back of her neck and pulled her up to his lips.

"I don't know why you are so unhappy with me that you don't even want to go on a holiday with me," he growled into her ear.

"You're hurting me, Alex," she cried. When she tried to pull away, he tightened his hold.

"Is it because you are still sweet on that Bates fellow?"

"No…no, Alex, I…I only love you. Please let me go," she begged. He held her closer to him and she whimpered. It was then that her eyes fell to a small shadow in the doorway. There, looking absolutely frightened, stood Penny. Total panic filled Anna's frame.

"Alex," she muttered, "P…Penny." Alex's eyes followed Anna's and he quickly let go of Anna. The force made Anna stumble. At her stumbling, Alex grabbed her arm to help her steady herself.

"Mummy?" The little girl cried. Anna rushed to Penny and lifted her into her arms. She ignored Alex's calls to them both and rushed Penny back into her room.

She rocked the little girl to sleep and as she lulled into a deep sleep Anna cried, "I'm sorry; I'm so sorry…"

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

When Anna got to Cora's house the next day, she was surprised to find Mary answer the door for her. Anna bounced a crying Lucas up and down and her eyes searched for Cora to come up behind her.

"Anna?" Mary questioned.

"I…I drop Lucas off with your mom on Wednesday mornings," Anna replied.

"Oh that's right. It is Wednesday, isn't it? Come on in. Mama is in the shower, but she should be down soon." Not feeling sure about coming inside, Anna did so slowly. She usually just quickly dropped off Lucas and headed to the cemetery. It had been a while since she had been alone with Mary. It felt like a lifetime ago that the two were close friends.

"Would you like some tea or coffee?" Mary questioned.

"No. I…um," Anna felt awkward. "Actually, is there somewhere I could go to nurse him? He usually doesn't eat for another two hours, but I think he's going through a growth spurt.

"Sure," Mary replied. She led her down the hallway and into the guest room. Anna took a seat in the chair next to the bed and started pulling down the side of her shirt. She and Mary had been friends for a long time. It didn't faze either of them for her to nurse in front of Mary. But Anna had forgotten about the fresh bruise on her arm. She heard Mary audibly gasp and Anna quickly lifted her sleeve back up to cover her arm.

"It's nothing," Anna quickly told her. "I….I ran into the wall."

"Anna, did Alex….?"

"You know what…. I….I think I'll just take Lucas with me today. It's not too bitter out," Anna replied. She removed Lucas from her breast and the little boy cried in protest. Moving the baby up to her shoulder, she bounced him lovingly. "Shh….shh, I'll feed you soon."

"Anna, no, don't go. Mama loves keeping little Lucas. I didn't mean…" Mary's voice was desperate. The last thing they wanted was to push Anna away. She needed a safe space.

Anna ignored Mary's words and began to walk toward the front door.

"Anna?" Cora's voice came from the bannister upstairs. Anna ignored her too and headed to the door. She could feel her heart thumping wildly in her chest.

"Anna," now Cora was behind her. She turned and saw Cora giving her a kind smile. "What's happened?"

"I…I should just go." Her eyes went between Cora and Mary. She could see Mary's eyes trying to implore Anna to stay.

"Let me keep, Lucas, please, Anna," she said, reaching out for the small, aggravated boy. "Can you keep a secret?" Cora asked Anna. Anna's head nodded. "Sybil is going to have another baby and I could really use the practice. George, Marigold, and Sybbie are all grown now."

Anna slowly handed Lucas over to Cora. "He…he has a bottle in his bag."

"Thank you, Anna. I'll see you around the same time?"

"Yes, I won't be gone long."

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

"It was awful," Mary said, recalling the incident to John that evening. "I know what you had told me, but this was the first time I saw it with my own eyes. I wanted to insist she stay here. The moment she saw I knew; she panicked. Thankfully, Mama was able to convince her to leave Lucas with her for a few hours." Mary watched as John's jaw tightened. "What do we do, John?"

"There's not much we can do, Mary. She has to want help."

"But doesn't she, deep down?" Mary implored.

"I do believe she does," John agreed, "But she thinks leaving him will make her lose her children, so she's convinced herself he'll change."

"That can't be true; can it?"

"I don't know," John replied honestly. He placed his knuckles against the kitchen island and leaned forward. Suddenly, a thought popped into his head. "You know, what we could do is find out any information and have it readily available for Anna, for if or when she decides to leave him. I also think we need a safe place for her to go. Not here, because Alex would suspect she would come to your parent's house or your house, but maybe a flat or small house on property."

"That's a good idea. I still have contact information for some of Matthew's old lawyer buddies. I will contact them and find out what they know. I am sure they can help us."

John sat himself up and sighed.

"Do you think she'll leave him?" Mary asked a moment later. John's hand came up to run over his face.

"I don't know," he told her again. "People who have abusive spouses believe it's their fault. Anna has been broken down so much by Alex that I don't know if she'll ever leave him. We just have to hope that she'll realize she has to leave before it becomes too late."

-X-X-X-X-X-

When she came home from picking up dinner, she saw Alex sitting at the kitchen table helping Penny with her drawing. Alex looked up at her and then glanced back down. He wasn't apologizing; there were no flowers. Her stomach sank. He always apologized after he hurt her. And this had been the first time after they had started couples' therapy. She had been hopeful he would be promising her that he had overreacted.

Anna set the food on the table and passed the food out. Other than Penny, the meal was eerily quiet. Dread filled her frame more and more as the time passed by. Alex offered to put Penny to bed and she walked upstairs to nurse Lucas, to put him to bed.

She felt like she was waiting for the pin to drop. Something was wrong. Something was about to happen; she just didn't know what it was.

She put Lucas into his bed and peeked into Penny's room. Penny was already out and Alex was no longer in there. She felt her entire body tense, as she headed toward her room. Alex wasn't in there. She took a deep breath and headed to the bathroom. Sitting on the counter was the empty box of Plan B she had used. She swallowed hard.

"I guess now we know why it took you so long to get pregnant after Penny. Didn't know you hated having children with me so much, Anna," Alex said behind her. Anna's body began to shake. Alex's lips pressed against her ear, "You went too far this time."

_To be continued..._

**_I know that's a cruel way to stop it. Let me know that and what else you think in the reviews! I will try to update soon, especially if there is want for it! Thank you! _**


	9. Chapter 9

_Sorry it took me so long to update! Here you go! _

**Chapter 9**

Anna's heart was beating so harshly; it was pounding in her ears. Her eyes glanced at the test and her lower lip trembled. She could feel the hot breath of Alex blowing against her ear, as she waiting for whatever came next.

"It…It wasn't like that. I….I only used it once…." Anna feebly explained. "We didn't have time to use protection and…and…."

When Alex grabbed her shoulders, a sharp gasp left her lips. He turned her toward him and tightened his grasp. The bruises from earlier were still there, so as he tightened his hold, Anna felt tears building in her eyes.

"You're lying," Alex spat. "If it wasn't a big deal, why hide it?"

Anna didn't have an answer for that. Her head shook and her breaths grew sharper. She hadn't seen him this angry in years. Fear for her life crept through her and she wondered if John had been right. He was going to kill her.

"Are…are you going to kill me?" Anna asked. Alex just laughed. Anna swallowed hard. Suddenly, he bent her down and kneed her in the stomach. Unable to catch her breath, Anna fell to the floor.

Alex bent down to her level and wiped the tear that had slipped down her cheek.

"No, no, honey, I'm not going to kill you; I love you," he eerily told her. His lips planted a kiss on his cheek and then he walked away.

Watching his feet move away from her, Anna felt uneasy. This had been too easy. Her hands remained on her sore stomach and she tried to regain her breath, before she slowly sat up. As her eyes glanced into their bedroom, Anna saw Alex turning on the television and beginning to get ready for bed as though this hadn't just happened. But he was angry, Anna knew it. She had kept this huge secret from him. She was mad with herself for not getting rid of the evidence sooner.

Slowly, she got up from the floor and began chewing on the inside of her lip. She didn't know what to do. Her hands began to turn anxiously in front of her and she felt the need to run away. Alex was being way too calm about this entire ordeal. She would like to think it was because he was getting better, but Anna knew better. There was something about the situation that made Anna so uneasy, as if she was waiting for the other shoe to drop.

"Come to bed," Alex called. A lump formed in the bottom of Anna's throat. She felt frozen in her spot. "Honey? Come on, my sweetheart."

Finally, Anna was able to get her feet to move forward and the entire time she could feel her hands shaking. She had to grab them together to keep them from giving her fear away. When she made it into the bedroom, she saw Alex calmly sitting on his side of the bed. He patted her side and Anna nodded.

Climbing into bed, Alex's hand came to pull her into his chest. He held her tightly and ran his fingers through her hair. Anna worked hard not to tense against his touch. She could feel hot tears building up behind her eyes, but fought to keep them from falling down her cheeks.

"You know I love you, Anna. It's why I get so angry," Alex said into her hair. "I don't know how we'll get past you lying to me. Don't do it again."

"I..I won't," Anna croaked. She felt Alex's lips kiss the top of her head and then his arms slowly letting her go.

"No go to sleep," he told her. Anna nodded and turned away from him. Alex turned off the television and the room went dark. In the darkness, Anna remained stiff as a board. She wasn't sure she would be able to sleep tonight.

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

_"Let her go, Dad!" He screamed, grabbing for his mother's arm. He hadn't seen his dad like this, ever. His mom was crying and his dad was livid. The stench of alcohol could be smelled from his father's breath. "You're drunk!" _

_ "Go away, son," his father sneered. "Let's go," he tugged at his wife's arm. _

_ "Just go, John. I…I'll be alright," his mother told him. John watched helplessly as his father pushed his mother toward the car. He felt frozen in his spot as it drove away._

John awoke suddenly, covered in sweat. The memories of the last time he saw his parents alive had begun to plague his dreams nightly. He sat up and rested his head into his hands with a sigh escaping his lips.

It took several minutes for him to be able to get his breaths to even. He could still feel his heart pounding against his chest.

John got out of bed and went down to the kitchen. He tried to stay quiet, so not to disturb anyone in the house.

As he grabbed a cup out of the cabinet, he realized his hands were shaking. The nightmares seemed to be shaking him to his core. He knew it was coming up because of what was happening with Anna. He hadn't been able to save his mother and now he feared that he wouldn't be able to save her.

His jaw tightened. He often went through the day his father killed both his mother and himself. John wondered what he could have done differently. He had been fifteen years old, but he hadn't been strong enough. He should have called someone or hit his dad. Anything.

Tears sprung in his eyes.

"John?" Cora's worried voice made him jump.

"Cora, did I wake you up?"

"No, I'm afraid I haven't been able to sleep since I saw Anna this morning. I am worried about her. Is that why you're awake?"

John nodded. He didn't want to add his nightmares to the mix. However, Cora seemed to read his thoughts.

"I'm sure all of this with Anna has brought up a lot of old memories," she gently stated. Cora took the empty cup from John's hands and took it to the refrigerator to fill with water for him. When she placed it back on the table, she gave him a kind smile. "You don't have to talk about it, but I know you saw a lot. I should have spoken to you about this when you came to live with us. I….You just seemed like you wanted to pretend like it didn't happen and I didn't want to push you."

"I…." John's voice broke and he took in a shuddering breath. "I should have stopped him from forcing her into the car," John finally said. Cora's head shook.

"No, John," she said firmly. "You were a child."

"A teenager. Fifteen, old enough to…."

"No," Cora stated strongly, again. "Your mother loved you dearly, John. She wouldn't have wanted you to insert yourself into it. She wanted you safe. Had you inserted yourself too much, you could have died too. Your mother would not have wanted that and I know for certain she would not want you blaming yourself. It was your father's fault. Solely his fault."

John felt his lip twitch slightly and he wasn't sure how to respond. Even though deep down he knew what Cora was saying was the truth, he couldn't let himself believe it.

Taking in a deep breath, John decided to change the subject. He didn't want to talk about his mother anymore. Her death would always lay heavily on him.

"I don't know how to make Anna see reason," he said a moment later. "She's scared of him, but…."

"She won't leave him," Cora answered. "I wish I had known she went to Mary's all those years ago. Mary didn't tell me until Anna had already gone back home. Had I known, maybe I could have convinced her to stay. I wish I knew what triggered her leaving him."

"She didn't come to you on purpose," John said. "She knew you would convince her to stay and she didn't want that. Mary didn't know then. Had she…." John sighed. "Alex has complete control over her. She has to want out." There was complete defeat in his voice. His heart ached. "Sometimes, I just want to go and kill him."

"You can't do that," Cora said sharply. John's eyes met Cora's.

"Can't I?" At his words, Cora sat back. He had a look of determination in his features as if he would do it and accept any consequences.

"No, John, you can't. You can't kill him. You'd end up in prison."

"And Anna would be free of him," John simply replied. Then he sighed. "I won't kill him," he promised Cora. Cora didn't seem convinced, but she nodded.

"I should get to bed. Get some rest, John."

-X-X-X-X-X-X-

Anna had barely slept all night. She went down to the kitchen early in the morning and began to make breakfast for everyone. Alex came down a little while later with both of the kids and put them in their chairs. He walked behind Anna and his hands came up and around her, resting right below her breasts.

"I don't want you going over to the Crawley house anymore," he told her. His hands came up and he gently squeezed.

"What? Why? Cora helps with Lucas when…." His hands grew tighter. Anna whimpered. Her eyes glanced to Penny, who was happily unaware of what was going on. Alex's hands let go of her breast and fell to her hips.

"No more. I don't like them and your ex lives there with him."

"He's not even…." Her breath caught in her throat when Alex dug his fingers into her sides. She had to bite her lip to keep from yelping out in pain. This was the first time Alex had ever actively hurt her in front of the children.

"No more," he repeated.

"Okay, no more," she replied. "Please Alex, it hurts." He just dug in deeper.

"Don't," he muttered into her ear. "You hurt me. We could be expecting baby number three right now and you stopped that. You don't get to complain, do you understand?" Anna could only nod. A tear slipped down her cheek. "Don't cry. You'll scare Penny." With that, he let go of her.

He walked away and Anna heard him talking sweetly to the kids. Lucas began to get angry, because he wanted to be fed. The nearly seven month hold threw the spoon that was sitting on the highchair to the floor.

Anna sighed. She walked over and picked it up. But Lucas didn't want to play with it anymore. He wanted to be nurse. She lifted him from the chair and Alex stopped her by placing his hand on her wrist.

"I think we should start him on formula now," he told her. Anna glanced at him. She had nothing against formula, but she had always been able to nurse her children and she liked to do it until they were one.

"But I thought I'd keep nursing him until he was a year old," Anna said. "Besides, we don't have any formula right now." Alex's hand tightened slightly around her wrist and Anna bit back the tears. He gave a wily smile and let go of her wrist. But as Anna lifted Lucas into her arms, Alex took him away from her. "He…he needs to be fed."

"I bought some formula. I'm going to make him a bottle." Anna felt her head shaking and she tried to understand.

"Why….why? I…I don't understand. Why can't I just nurse him? He….he might not even like it…."

"Well, then he'll have to get used to it. Won't you?" Alex said lovingly to Lucas.

"Why?"

Alex didn't answer her. He just walked away and made Lucas a bottle. Once the bottle was made, he took Lucas to the table and began to attempt to feed him it. Lucas wasn't fond of the taste. He shook his head away from it.

"Come on, bud. You'll like it," Alex told him. But the baby's face was growing red in anger. Anna felt her body shaking.

"Give him to me. He wants me," she said strongly. Alex's lips turned, but he did hand Lucas to Anna. Anna held the baby tight to her chest and breathed strongly. Alex stood and bent down to whisper into her ear.

"He can't always have his mummy, can he?" The words made a chill run down Anna's spine. Alex pulled up and adjusted his tie. "I have to work late tonight. Don't wait up. See you all soon."

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

_Ding. _

John paused from his work and grabbed his phone. The number that came across his screen was not one he recognized. His brows narrowed. When he opened the message, his heart stopped.

_Meet me in the spot we always run into one another, please. I need help._

**_To be continued..._**


	10. Chapter 10

_Rough chapter ahead alert. Alex is evil and does triggering things. Just a heads up. _

**Chapter 10**

John headed to the cemetery as quickly as he could. When he parked his car, he could already see Anna leaning anxiously next to her own car. Her car was still running. She noticed his car coming and stood herself up from against the car. Anna was nervously glancing around and bouncing up and down slightly.

"John," she said, as he stepped out of the car. "I….I didn't know if you would show." Her words were quick and full of apprehension.

"I wasn't sure the text was from you," John replied. "Are you leaving Alex?" He asked point blank, as he motioned to the running car. He watched as Anna's lower lip quivered and she shook her head.

"No…not yet. I…."

"What happened?" He took a step toward her and tried to take her hand, but she moved away from him.

"I…I just." She brought her sleeves over her hands and her eyes looked around her again. "You said you would help. I….I won't leave him without knowing my kids can come with me. I won't leave them."

"We will figure that out, Anna. Why don't you come to the house and we can sit down and talk? It's cold here." Anna's head shook.

"I…I can't," Anna replied. "He doesn't want us over there anymore. I have the car on to keep Lucas warm. If he found out…." Her words faded. "This is the only safe space to meet. He refuses to come here."

John sighed. "What's happened?" He asked again. "Has he hurt you? Made any threats? If so, you can't go back home to him, Anna. Let's find somewhere safe for you and the children to go tonight, please."

"You don't understand," Anna cried. "He'll take Penny and Lucas away from me, John. I'll never see them again!"

"No he won't. I won't allow that to happen," John promised. Anna didn't seem to believe he could do that, because her head just shook back and forth sharply. "What's happened?" He asked a third time. He knew something had to happen to spur Anna's choice to possibly leaving him.

"I….I've made him angry. He's rightfully angry," She added. "I lied to him. So….I….I think he might be planning on taking my children away from me. I…I can't lose them."

"Has he hurt you again, Anna?" Anna looked away from him and slowly nodded.

"Not too badly. Just small things here or there to remind me I messed up," she honestly answered. John felt his jaw tighten. "But then this morning, he….he….." Anna's words got caught within her throat and a few tears slid down her cheeks.

"You need to go to the police and let them know what he's done to you, Anna. If they have record of his abuse, that could show the children need to stay with you."

"No! If he found out I went there….I can't." Fear was etched all over Anna's features. "Just help me find out how I can leave him and take the kids with me, please." Anna's fingers fumbled into her side pocket and she handed John a small piece of paper.

"What's this?"

"Text this number if you have anything. I got a burner phone today. I…I won't always have it on me, so it may take me a while to respond," Anna answered.

"I don't like this, Anna. More lies; more secrets. It's just giving him more things to get angry about. Come on with me now. We'll go to the police and find a safe place for you and the kids."

"If you don't want to help me find resources, that's fine. I'll figure it out on my own," Anna angrily stated. John sighed. She wasn't hearing him and what he was saying. She was terrified of her husband and the best thing to do was to leave him now before it progressed worse.

"I do, Anna, I do," he quickly said back. "Just please message me if you are ever in trouble, _please_?"

"I will," Anna said. Her attention was stolen by Lucas who had begun to stir in his seat. "Lucas is awake; I have to go."

"Anna?" Anna turned to face him and John stepped forward. "I don't know what you lied about, but I have a feeling it was to protect yourself. But no matter what you did, it doesn't give him the right to bully you or hurt you."

"Thank you for meeting with me," was all Anna replied, before stepping into the car and driving away.

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

"She wants to get away from him," John said, taking a seat across from Mary at the kitchen table. Mary's eyes lifted from the catalogue she was looking through and she turned her lips to the side pensively.

"How do you know?"

"She texted me to meet her yesterday. She said she will leave if she knows her children will be able to come with her," John responded. Mary sat up at these words and placed the catalogue down on the table top.

"Why didn't you tell me sooner? I could have come to meet her with you yesterday." John shook his head at her words.

"No, that would have spooked her. She can't know you are working on this too, not yet. I have a list of resources to give her, people to contact that can help her. I tried to convince her to come with me yesterday, but she refused. I think she really wants to leave, but I am not sure she will." John ran his hand through his hair and sighed.

"I have spoken to some of Matthew's old work mates. They said she can take the children with her, but Alex will likely get some type of custody of the children. The only way he can be monitored with the children is if the judge believes they are in danger with him. Anna hasn't told the police about any of the times he's hurt her, so there isn't any evidence." John nodded. He had a feeling that was what they would say. Anna wouldn't be okay with that. She would fear that Alex would disappear with the children if she left him.

"We just have to figure out how to get her to leave and then we can work out the details. If we could figure out a way to at least keep the kids with her until a custody trial, maybe that could convince her to leave. The Crawley family is pretty powerful here. We have to be able to get her the best lawyer around." Mary nodded.

"Already working on it."

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

It had been almost two months since Anna had met John about possibly leaving Alex. They had met two more times since. He had found people in the area that could meet up with her and help her, but she hadn't gone to see them yet. That made it too real. And nothing confirmed that she would be able to keep her kids with her. No one could promise that Alex wouldn't be able to run away with them.

Pulling on her fingers, Anna sat on the edge of her bed. John said that Mary had found her a lawyer, the best lawyer in the area. He was in the process of working on a way for Anna to be able to keep the kids with her, if she left, at least until the custody trial. Anna wasn't sure that was good enough. She didn't want to take the children away from their father, but she couldn't trust that he wouldn't steal them away.

He was still so angry at Anna. There had been a lot of angry sex the past two months. He had changed his mind about wanting another baby and now he wanted another. He didn't force Anna to have sex, but he was insistent it should happen. She had been too afraid to ever say no. Every month, she was relieved when her cycle came. She couldn't bring another baby into this world. Not in this.

The shower was running and Anna knew it wouldn't be long before Alex would be done. She dreaded these moments. Alex no longer apologized for being rough or slapping her across the face. He had even gotten bolder in front of the children. Tears welled up in Anna's eyes. She had to get away.

_Ring. Ring. Ring. _

Anna glanced over at Alex's bedside table. The phone stopped ringing and Anna just shrugged her shoulders. It was probably a work call. She turned her attention back to her fingers, but Alex's phone began to ring again.

Thinking it might be important, Anna lifted the phone and hit the answer button.

"H..hello?" Her voice was hoarse from a cold she had been fighting.

"Hello? Love? Are you there?" A woman's voice came on the other end. "Alex?" Anna felt her blood run cold.

"Who is this?" Anna asked.

"Alex? You sound weird. Are you getting sick? Are you able to come tonight? Just tell your wife you have to work." At that, Anna hung up the phone. She stepped backwards and suddenly all the late nights began to make sense. There was a name attached to the number: Edna.

Anna perked up her ears and could hear the water still running. She decided to check out Alex's pictures on his phone. At first, all she saw were pictures of the four of them. But then a random envelope caught her attention. She opened it up and saw pictures of Alex with women. Not one woman, but several. Sliding through the pictures, she felt sicker and sicker in her stomach.

"What are you doing?" Alex's voice came behind her. Anna turned to face him and she angrily handed the phone to him.

"Who are all these women, Alex?" She questioned him. With a smirk, Alex just shook his head.

"They are clients, Anna. That's all."

"You are kissing several of them," she pointed out, her body was shaking with the rage she was feeling. "And who is Edna?" Alex's smirk faded and he narrowed his eyes.

"A client, Anna."

"You have made me feel like shit for using birth control once and you've been cheating on me with multiple women?" Alex dropped his phone on the dresser and quickly stepped closer to Anna, grasping at her shoulders.

"You're still my number one girl," he told her, forcing a kiss on her lips. Anna struggled away from his grasp and wiped her lips with the back of her hand.

"You aren't even denying it! I want you to leave, Alex. Or…or let the kids and me leave. You said you loved me, but….you don't cheat on someone…."

"I do love you, Anna!" Alex yelled. "And you aren't leaving me, Anna. You belong to me," he told her. He stepped closer to her and placed his lips back on hers. Anna shoved him backwards.

"Don't kiss me. Just leave me alone. Go and see one of your women," Anna sneered. But Alex surprised her with a punch across the chin, making her stumble back. Anna gasped and tears stung in the back of her eyes. Before she could do anything to react, he grabbed her by the hair and threw her on the bed.

"No," Anna cried, as he tore at her clothing. "You…you promised you wouldn't do this again. I…."

Alex's head dipped down to her ear and he harshly whispered, "You'll always belong to me, Anna. This will be easier if you just give in."

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

Anna curled up onto her side and tried to keep from sobbing. Alex climbed off the bed and she could hear him putting his clothes back on.

"I have to go somewhere. I'll be back soon," Alex told her. Anna closed her eyes and just listened as he left the room. She waited several moments, before sitting up. As she sat up, she winced and a sob finally left her lips. Standing, she slowly walked to the window and watched for Alex to leave.

With shaking hands, she searched for her burner phone that was hidden in her top drawer. Slowly, she typed in John's number and pressed the phone against her ear. She prayed John was still awake.

"Anna?" His voice was full of worry. He had answered after only the second ring.

"It…." Anna paused to strengthen her voice, but the sobs wouldn't stop. "Tomorrow. When he's at work tomorrow, we…we have to leave."

"Do you need me to come and get you now, Anna?"

"No," Anna cried, "He…he'll be back soon. Tomorrow. We'll meet you at the cemetery at 1."

"Anna, what's happened?" The concern in John's voice only made her cry harder. She just shook her head.

"Tomorrow at one," she repeated, before hanging up the phone.

_To be continued..._

**_We are about to the scene that is in the first chapter. So does that make it full circle? Anyway, thank you for reading! Please let me know what you think! And any theories you may have of what I have up my sleeve next. :)_**


	11. Chapter 11

_Thank you all so much! I appreciate you all! The end of this chapter will seem familiar, because it is. We have officially come full circle to the end of the first chapter. Thank you again! Enjoy! _

**Chapter 11**

Hearing the phone click to show the line was severed between the two of them, John heavily sighed. Worry filled his entire frame. He could still hear the sobs from Anna that had come over the phone. Something bad had happened; he just knew it. He wanted to rush over there right now and get her.

Curling his hands into fists, he stepped forward and glanced out his window. Just over the past month, he had moved into his own place on Downton Abbey property. The house was just a little ways from where Cora and Robert were. He glanced at the time and saw it was nearing eleven. It was too late to call Cora and ask her about the place for Anna. He would call her first thing in the morning. He questioned if he should call Mary, but decided against it.

He brought a fist up to his lips and inhaled sharply. Tears were building up in the back of his eyes and he was brought back to the sounds he remembered coming from his mother's lips. Anna's sobs reminded him of those same sounds. She sounded terrified and distraught, but there was something in her voice he had never heard from his mother. There was a bit of determination. He prayed it would stay and she would keep her nerve so she could leave Alex.

John went and took a seat on his chair next to his bookshelf. He knew there was a small chance he would get a good night's sleep tonight.

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

Anna stood at the stove and quickly whipped up some scrambled eggs. Her body was tense and she wasn't sure what to expect from Alex this morning. Both of the children were in the living room. She had put on a movie for Penny to watch and Lucas was enjoying crawling around in his playpen.

When Alex had come back home the night before, he had smelled of smoke and alcohol. Thankfully, he had ignored her and just gone straight to bed. Then as Anna had woken up this morning, he had been heavily snoring and Anna had been relieved.

She had barely gotten any sleep the night before, planning for her escape had kept her awake. There was a part of her afraid that everything would fall apart before she could get away. Her finger came up to her mouth and she began to unconsciously chew on the edge of her thumb. Nerves were filling her entire frame. Her eyes glanced at the clock on the oven. It was nine thirty. Alex went into work late on Tuesdays. He didn't have to be in until eleven. That was why she had chosen one. It allowed her to put Lucas down for a nap, put a movie on for Penny, and quickly gather all of the things they would be needing for today.

"Mummy?" Penny's sweet voice asked from the living room. Anna moved the pan off the heat and turned off the stove. She walked into the living room and saw that the movie had ended. They had been up for a few hours already and both kids had already had breakfast. Anna wasn't even sure why she had started making eggs. She had just needed something to do with her anxious hands.

"Do you want to watch something else?" Anna questioned. Penny's head shook.

"Can I draw?"

"Of course, sweet girl," Anna answered. She led Penny to the small craft table that sat in the corner and helped her open her box of crayons.

Upon seeing his mother was in the room, Lucas pulled himself up onto his feet and held onto the railing. He squealed for Anna's attention and Anna turned to give him a small smile. She walked over to him and lifted him out of the pen and pressed a kiss to his cheek.

"You're getting so big," she murmured, nuzzling her nose against his.

"He is," Alex's voice rang from the bottom of the stairs. Anna jumped. Turning to face Alex, she felt her entire frame begin to shake. She had to take a deep breath to control her body.

"Goo….good morning, Alex," she finally responded more strongly. "I made some eggs."

"I have to get into work early," Alex stated, his tone was unreadable. He walked past her and the children and went into the kitchen. A few moments later, he walked out with a cup of coffee in one hand. He came up to Anna and wrapped his free hand around Anna's free wrist tightly. "Don't forget what I said last night," he said quietly. Anna jerked her hand away from him and took a small step back. "You're my number one," he eerily said to her, before touching her nose with his finger.

As he walked outside, Anna slowly followed behind. She glanced out of the side curtain and her eyes watched as his car pulled away. Once she was sure he was gone, she felt her heart begin to race. Now was her chance.

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

Anna opened their safe that sat in the corner of their closet. She pulled out all of the important paperwork: the kid's birth certificates, her own, and any other paperwork she may need. Placing the paperwork into the folder, she put them into her bag. She had already packed up some clothes, diapers, and a cooler of breast milk for Lucas. Now she needed to pack her some things. Her hands were shaking so harshly. She was supposed to meet John soon. Her burner phone had already dinged with a few messages from John making sure one was still the right time. Anna had messaged him back a yes, but that she may be running a few minutes late.

The downstairs door slammed closed and Anna jumped. She hid the phone into her pocket and stepped into the bathroom.

"Anna!" Alex yelled. Anna froze. She finally got her wits about her and called back to him.

"Y…yes?"

Alex was already in their room. She heard him walking toward her and panicked. What did she do now?

"I…I wasn't expecting you home," Anna stuttered. She helplessly watched as Alex's eyes fell on her bag in the closet and the realization covered his face. She swallowed hard and stepped back.

"You're leaving me?" He asked a moment later.

"I….." Her resolve was fading. She closed her eyes briefly and reminded herself why she was doing this. Opening her eyes, she found a bit of her strength. "You're cheating on me. You…you forced me to…." Her words caught in her throat. "Last night….."

"Fine, get your bag and leave," Alex told her. Anna watched him carefully. This was a trap. Slowly, she walked to the edge of the closet and lifted her bag onto her arms. As she stepped past him, she felt as his hand came on her arm. "You can leave, but you can't take the kids."

"I….No, I'm taking the kids, Alex. We will come up with a custody agreement," Anna replied. She wasn't sure where her strength was coming from. Alex's hand tightened around her arm. He pulled her closer to him and Anna let out a small whimper.

"No," Alex told her. "You aren't taking the kids from me and you aren't leaving me either, Anna. As I told you yesterday, you belong to me."

"Alex, please," she pleaded. "Let us go. I…..I promise I won't keep the kids from you. We'll figure something out." Tears were welling in her eyes.

Alex grabbed her other shoulder so that he could turn her to face him. He was seething. His fingers dug into her skin and Anna had never been so terrified of him before.

"No," was all he said, before throwing her against the wall.

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

John paced back and forth in the cemetery. It was ten minutes past one. He hadn't heard a thing from Anna; he was growing concerned. To help calm his nerves and pass the time, he decided to call Cora to make sure that everything was ready at the place they had for Anna.

It was a small home surrounded by several more. They owned so many houses on property that it would be hard for Alex to figure out where Anna and the kids were. Odds were that he would assume she was at Cora, Mary, or Sybil's houses. So it was imperative that she didn't stay there. The house they had for her had a garage where she could hide her car. It was also fully furnished. It made it the ideal place. Cora and Robert planned on staying in the downstairs room while the logistics were figured out so Anna wouldn't be alone if Alex did decide to show up.

"John?"

"Hi, Cora. She isn't here yet. I haven't heard from her in a while. Is everything ready?" He questioned into the phone. His foot kicked against the wet grass.

"Yes. Everything is ready for them. If you don't hear from her soon, you need to go over there." John nodded. He already planned on heading over to the house if Anna didn't show up within the next fifteen minutes or so. Fear was already building in his stomach. He just knew something was wrong.

"I am. Thank you, Cora."

"Message me when she gets there."

"I will."

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

As she laid on the cold tile floor, she covered her head with her arms trying to protect her head from his blows. This was the angriest he had been in a long time. She could already feel the cuts and bruises forming all around her frame.

Crying could be heard from the nursery and she wanted to get up to get her baby, but she couldn't. Her body was too frail and he wasn't finished. Another kick hit her stomach and she cried out in pain.

"Mummy?" A small voice came from outside the bathroom voice. Anna glanced at the door and was grateful it was closed. Her eyes flew to her husbands and they pleaded with him.

"Penny," she cried. He sighed. Running his hands through his hair, he straightened himself up and evened his angry breaths.

"Hold on, Penny," he called out sweetly. Then he bent down and grabbed Anna's hair, so he could pull her ear to his lips. She winced, but was too weak to cry out in anymore pain. "If you even think about leaving me again, I will take the kids and disappear. You will never see them again."

He dropped her back onto the ground and headed to the door. Anna's eyes were losing focus, but she could see he was blocking the doorway so their three year old couldn't see inside.

"Your mummy's sick, sweet pea. Let's go get your brother and then go get some ice cream," he said. She heard Penny laugh with happiness and then the door was shut leaving her alone.

Across the room, she heard her phone ping. She knew it was him waiting for to arrive. It pinged again. Her hand reached out, as if she could reach it, but it was way too far. Hot tears streamed down her face. She wouldn't be able to tell him what happened and he wouldn't be able to save her, not anymore. Alex had her children now. He knew. There was no more chance of escape. Feeling hopeless, she faded into darkness.

**_To be continued... _**


	12. Chapter 12

_Thank you all! _

**Chapter 12**

Alex held on to Penny's hand and led her down to Lucas's nursery. When he walked into the room, the little boy's face curled into a deeper frown realizing his mother wasn't going to be the one to get him.

"It's alright," Alex cooed, picking the baby up. The nine month old grabbed at Alex's ear and Alex had to shake his head to get him to stop. "Come on, let's get ice cream."

"Mummy always feeds Lucas when he wakes up. Should we take him to mummy?" Penny questioned. Alex ignored her words and just quickened his steps to the front door. Anger was soaring through his body. She was going to try to leave him? Who did she think she was?

"Daddy!" Penny cried. "You're hurting me!" Alex paused and dropped Penny's hand. He turned to her and bent down to her level.

"Oh I'm sorry. Did I pull too hard on your arm?" The little girl nodded.

"I want Mummy," she said, crossing her arms firmly across her chest and pouting out her lower lip.

"Not right now, sweet pea," he told her. "Let's go get ice cream." The girl twisted her lips pensively, before nodding her head.

"Okay."

_Knock. Knock. _

Alex quickly stood and eyed the doorway carefully. Who could it possibly be? He adjusted Lucas on his hip and headed to the door with Penny only a step or two behind him. When he opened the door, he was surprised and annoyed to find John Bates standing on the other side.

"What are you doing here?" Alex sneered. John's lips fell into an uneasy line and Alex watched as a realization covered his features. John stiffened his frame and stood tall.

"I want to see Anna," he said resolutely. A soft chuckle left Alex's lips and he shook his head.

"She doesn't want to see you," Alex replied. "Now move, I'm taking my children for ice cream."

"You aren't taking Anna's children anywhere," John stated strongly and he remained in his spot, blocking the door.

"They are my children and I'll do what I please," came Alex's response. "This is my property. If you don't move, I'll call the police."

"Please do call them. I'm sure they would love to talk to Anna." A small wave of panic covered Alex's features and it made John's stomach tighten. "Where is Anna?"

Penny's little head poked out between Alex's side and the doorway. She pushed her way in front of her father and perched her hand under her chin.

"Mummy is sick. I heard her crying and screaming. Daddy said it's cause she's sick." John felt his jaw tighten. If it weren't for the little girl and baby in Alex's arms, he would have him thrown up against the wall this very moment.

"What did you do to Anna?"

"I haven't done a thing," Alex said with the smallest smirk. "She's resting. Now, please move so I can take my son and daughter for the ice cream I promised them."

"No, I won't let you leave with her children."

-X-X-X-X-X-X-

Anna's eyes slowly opened and a loud groan left her lips. Her entire body was pulsing and aching. As she tried to stand, she gasped. Her hand flew up to her head only to pull away quickly from the pain it caused. Tears began to run down her cheeks. He had the children. What if he left and never came back?

She was able to slowly crawl herself to her phone that laid on the floor. At some point it had flown out of her pocket. Reaching for it, her fingers shook so harshly that it dropped. She went to reach for it again and she heard voices growing louder and louder downstairs.

Her ears perked up. It was Alex and John. More determined, she placed her hands on the floor and slowly brought herself up to the standing position. Every movement made her body ache, but she was determined to make it downstairs to her children. He hadn't left yet. There was still a chance.

Tears stung her eyes. The steps were small. She wasn't going to make it. Pausing, she placed her hand against the wall and took several short breaths. Whenever she tried to breathe deeper, it hurt her ribs. She stood herself back up and continued her path to the front door. She wasn't sure what she would do when she got there. She was too weak to pick up her children and he was still there. It wouldn't take much to kill her now.

When she reached the bottom stair, Anna stumbled and fell on the ground. Her knees hit the floor with a loud thud which caused Alex to turn. John was able to see Anna and he gasped.

"Mummy!" Penny cried. She ran over to her mother and placed her hand on Anna's shoulder. "What happened, Mummy?" The sweet little girl carefully placed her hand on her mother's cheek that had a large gash across it. Anna offered her a weak smile, before her eyes were trained to Alex and John.

John was trying to get past Alex to get to Anna, but Alex was blocking the path. Had it not been for Lucas in Alex's arms, Anna was pretty sure John would have pushed him out of the way already.

"Anna," John cried out for her. With small movements, Anna pulled herself back up. It took her several minutes, but she was soon standing next to Alex. John's eyes were a mix of concern and anger. Anna's face was covered with red, angry bruises. The large gash across her cheek was bleeding. Her arm was holding across her chest and John wasn't sure if it was to protect herself or because her arm was broken.

"Honey," Alex's voice was laced with fake concern. "I told you to rest." Alex turned his attention to John. "She took a fall down the stairs," he explained with a smirk. "She's clumsy."

John felt his hands curve into fists at his sides. "Those cuts aren't from a fall."

"Oh yeah, prove it." Alex got right into John's face and John had to use every ounce of will not to shove him away. He turned away from Alex and put out his hand.

"Anna, come with me," he begged. Anna's head shook. Her eyes were filled with tears.

"I….I fell," she replied, biting down on the corner of her lip. John's body tensed as Alex joyfully chuckled.

"Anna….."

"Please, leave," she pleaded. "He….he has my babies….please…."

"Anna…."

Anna's eyes widened when she saw a police car pull into her drive way. Alex's jaw dropped and his eyes scanned to John. John's lips curled into a small smile.

"That's right. I forgot to tell you that I already called the police," he replied. Anna shifted uneasily on her feet. It was getting harder and harder to stand. "You see," he said, leaning in closer to Alex. "I know how guys like you are. When Anna didn't show up today, I knew something had happened."

Right behind the police car came another car and it parked right behind it. The police stepped out of their vehicle and the person in the car behind them stepped out as well. It was Cora. Anna felt a wave of relief cover her body, but then it faded. Alex was still holding Lucas. He wasn't going to let go of him easily.

"I heard there was a disturbance," one of the officers stated. Alex nodded his head.

"There was. This man won't leave my property." The officer glanced to John, but his attention was brought back to Anna.

"What happened here?"

"This man has been having an affair with my wife and he beat her up," Alex quickly begun to spin his lies.

The other officer asked to walk into the house. Alex moved to the side and let them both in, but he made John and Cora stand at the door.

"Is this true?" The one officer asked Anna. Very slightly, Anna shook her head and her eyes fell to the floor.

"He…he has my baby," she said very quietly.

"Don't, Anna. Lucas is my baby too," Alex snarled. Penny, who had become very overwhelmed by the situation, was hiding behind Anna's wobbly legs.

"Will…will you please take her to the lady outside," Anna begged one of the officers. "I…..I don't want her in here for this."

The woman officer bent down to Penny's level and reached out her hand toward her. "Come here, sweetheart." The little girl looked up to her mom for reassurance and Anna nodded to her.

"Go to Cora, Penny." With her mother's assurance, Penny followed the officer outside and Cora quickly took her down the stairs and around the side of the house.

"Sir, I need you to give me the baby now," the male officer told him. "Then we can settle all of this."

Alex shook his head and stepped back. "You can't take my child away from me."

"Sir," the female officer began, "We will give him back, but it's best for him that you hand him over."

Alex's eyes narrowed. Anna could feel her heart racing in her chest. She just needed to know that her babies were okay. Her body relaxed when she saw Alex finally give in and hand the baby to the officer. As Anna watched her walk the baby outside to Cora, Anna's body gave out and she fell to the floor.

"Anna!" John now pushed past Alex and rushed to Anna's side. The officer was already requesting an ambulance on his radio. Then the officer bent down to Anna and met her eyes.

"Who did this to you?"

Anna bit down on her lower lip. She glanced between her husband and John. Both were imploring her with their eyes to say what they wanted her to say. She closed her eyes and shook her head. It was pounding so hard that she was having trouble keeping focus. Knowing that her babies were okay, her body was giving out.

"Anna? Is that your name?" The female officer questioned and Anna's eyes slowly opened.

"Y….yes."

"Both of your children are going to be just fine. Can you tell me which one of these two men hurt you?" Slowly Anna nodded.

"M….my husband," she replied. "I….I was trying to leave him and he….he got angry."

"Which man is your husband?" Anna stretched her arm out and pointed to Alex. She could hear Alex denying her claims, but her head was growing heavier. Alex's cries grew softer and softer.

"Anna," John's kind voice rang in her ear. "It's going to be okay. They have him in custody. The ambulance will be here soon. Just stay with us."

"My…my babies?"

"They are fine. Cora has them. They will be fine. Just stay with us, Anna. Stay with us, please."

_To be continued..._


	13. Chapter 13

_Thank you all! _

**Chapter 13**

As she awoke, Anna attempted to turn from her back. Pain seared through her side and she inhaled sharply.

"Be careful," a familiar voice warned her. Anna glanced to the corner of the room and saw Mary sitting up in her chair. The blanket that had been wrapped around her frame had fallen to the ground, as Mary stood and walked over toward Anna. She sat down next to Anna and offered her a small smile.

"The doctor says your ribs are bruised," Mary informed her friend. Anna tried to take in a deeper breath, but even her chest hurt.

"I…." Then her eyes widened and she met Mary's eyes with her own. "Are Penny and Lucas okay?"

"Yes, Mama has them at their house. George is with them. I am sure they are having a grand time."

Hearing her children were okay, Anna was able to relax back into the pillows some. All over her body ached. It was as if she could still feel his feet kicking against her stomach and his hands nearly pulling her arm out of its socket.

"I should have insisted you stay at my house that day," Mary said, her eyes were now brimming with tears. "I didn't know and I should have known. I…."

Anna grabbed Mary's hands and gave them a squeeze. "I wouldn't have listened even if you had known. It's not your fault, Mary. Your mum knew and I wouldn't listen to her. I….I thought he would change. I kept telling myself he would get better, that things would get better. They never did. Had John not known to call the police, I would probably still be with him."

"Even after he did all of this to you?" Mary incredulously asked. Anna dropped Mary's hands from hers and brought them together in front of her. She knew it seemed ridiculous that she stayed with someone so volatile; she couldn't even explain it all.

"It's not even the worst he's done," Anna quietly replied. "I….I was going to leave him today. It was the plan, but then he came back and found me. He said if I left him, he would take Penny and Lucas. I….I would have stayed to keep them."

"Oh Anna," Mary's voice shook. "I wish I had seen the signs. John came back from being away for years and knew automatically; Mama knew. I was oblivious to it all."

"And I could have asked for your help…."

"But you did, four years ago and I just let you go back to him." A few tears slid down Mary's face and Anna wished she had the strength to sit up and wrap her arms around her. "Why did you leave him then, Anna? And what was the final straw to you leaving him now?"

Anna began to pull on her fingers and she shook her head.

"I…..I can't talk about it," she murmured.

A moment later she asked, "Will you thank Cora for taking care of my children? For keeping them safe? Hopefully, I can come home soon."

"Of course."

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

John walked into the main house and saw Cora and Robert in the living room with all of the children. When he turned into the room, he saw that Sybil was sitting on one of the couches with Sybbie sitting on her lap. He offered her a nod and then asked Cora if she could come out to talk to him.

The two of them went into the kitchen and Cora grabbed herself a glass of water. After offering to do the same for John and him saying no, she motioned for them both to sit.

"He's only being held for forty-eight hours. After that, he'll be on bail until trial. Even though he won't be allowed near Anna and the kids, a piece of paper stating that won't keep him away."

"Forty-eight hours?" Cora was just as shocked as John had been when he found out. "Well we can move the kids to the house we have prepared. Robert and I can stay there with them. I don't think it would be a good idea to stay here. We will also hire some security for the area."

John nodded. He was grateful for the Crawleys. Not only had they taken him in at fifteen; they now were taking care of the woman he cared for deeply. They had no obligation to do so, but they were.

"I've been thinking," John began. "Has anyone spoken to Anna's stepmother?"

"No," Cora replied. "I believe the last time I saw her was at Anna's wedding. She had moved to London not long before then. I don't even know if the two still speak." John clinched his jaw and shook his head. It didn't surprise him. Alex would have wanted to isolate Anna from the small bit of family she had left.

When Anna's parents divorced, she had been torn between her mother and father. However, once her mother had married an unsavory man, her father got full custody of Anna. Overtime, Anna lost touch with her mother. Her father had also remarried. Anna and her stepmother had grown close. The woman, who had never had children of her own, loved Anna as if she was hers. John remembered several happy memories of spending days at her parents' house and Anna telling him how she felt like she was truly her mum.

"The two used to be close. If we knew a way to contact her, I think she would like to know how Anna is doing now. She could offer Anna the support she needs."

"I'll see what I can find out."

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

_Knock. Knock. _

Anna sat up slightly, in an attempt not to cause more pain to shoot up through her body. Cora's head inched in through the doorway and she offered her a gentle smile.

"Can I come in?" Anna nodded. Cora walked into the room and took the seat next to Anna's bed.

"Where are the children?"

"Playing at Sybil's house."

Anna bobbed her head and then bit down on her lower lip. "He's going to be out soon and I'll still be stuck here." She wiped her finger under her eye and felt as her chin began to quiver.

"We will keep Penny and Lucas safe. He's not allowed to come near them."

"No, but he's petitioned to get time with him. He says he's not a threat to them and that he has rights as their father. The detective that came by today believes he'll get it. He said it'll likely be at a safe location, but how do they ensure he doesn't just run off with them?"

"Shh," Cora soothed. "None of us will let that happen."

Anna blinked sharply, but didn't argue. Instead, she carefully reached over and grabbed a paper off the bedside table. Then she handed it to Cora.

"What's this?"

"My stepmother's information. Could…could you call her? She might not want anything to do with me, I was so cruel to her," a few tears spilled from Anna's eyes. "But….but I miss her and would like her to know that I am okay."

"I'll call her. I am sure she would love to hear from you. I doubt she holds any grudges, Anna."

"No, I….I was mean to her. She didn't like Alex. The moment we started dating, she told me that he was using my father's death to get to me. I wouldn't listen. After I married him and he started getting abusive, I pushed her away. I told her to stop bothering me and that she wasn't my real mum. I….I was so mean," Anna began to cry. "Over the years, I only sent her a Christmas card. Every year, she's sent my kids Christmas presents. Maybe she would at least like to know them."

"I'm sure she would," Cora gently replied. "Get some rest, okay? John said he would stop by tomorrow morning to check on you."

"Will you thank him, for everything?"

"Yes. I will."

"And thank you, for taking such good care of Penny and Lucas. I'll never be able to repay you, honestly."

"Shh, don't think anything about it. Those who care for each other help one another out. Now get some rest."

-X-X-X-X-X-X-

Anna hadn't been able to sleep all night. She knew that Alex was being released today. She feared for her children's safety. Even though she knew John, Cora, and the rest of the Crawley family were going to watch over Penny and Lucas, she was nervous. Alex wasn't just going to let them go. A small part of her wished she hadn't left him and turned him in. What if he got so angry, that he disappeared with their children before she was out of the hospital?

She heard a small knock on the door and assumed it was John. She was correct, because soon, John walked into the room.

"Good morning," he told her. Anna sighed. Something about being in the same room as him had a soothing effect. She had never felt that with Alex. Fear of what he was going to do next had always consumed her.

"Good morning. I…I haven't been able to thank you yet for coming by the house and calling the police. I…." John put his hand up to stop her.

"Speak nothing of it, Anna. I am just glad you were able to get away."

"But…."

"Someone is here to see you," John interrupted. He walked back over to the door and opened it all the way. There standing in the doorway was her stepmother. The woman's eyes were kind and a wave of emotions covered Anna's frame. She hadn't expected her to show; she thought all she might get was a phone call.

"Oh my poor girl," the woman said, taking in the cuts on her face and bandages over her body. She stepped up closer to her and sat on the edge of the bed. "What has that bastard done to you?" At that, Anna's face crumpled. Despite the pain it caused, she sat up and wrapped her arms around her stepmother's neck.

"Elsie," she cried. "I….I'm so glad you're here. I'm so sorry. I…I'm so sorry."

"Shh, now, love. I'm here now."

_To be continued..._


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

"Here's another good picture of Penny," Anna told Elsie, as she handed her the phone. "She's going to love you. There isn't a shy bone in her body, so be prepared for her to talk your ear off." At that Elsie laughed.

"I look forward to it."

Anna eased back into her pillows. It seemed like no time had passed between the two of them. They had settled back into their regular pattern rather quickly. Over the past several hours, Anna had told Elsie everything: the abuse, the loss of Michael, even the two times Alex forced her to have sex with him. Elsie had taken it all in and held Anna's hand through it all. Anna was so grateful she wasn't telling her that she had told her so. It was so comforting having the woman she considered as her mother back into her life.

"I wish I had reached out to you sooner," Anna cried, biting down on her lower lip. "I almost did once, after I lost Michael…." Anna's words faded and a lone tear slid down her cheek. She shook her head. "Alex had me convinced that it was my fault and I….I just…."

"It was not your fault, Anna," Elsie said strongly. "It was a tragic thing you went through, but nothing you did caused that." Elsie adjusted herself in her chair and patted Anna's hand. "Go to sleep, love. Tomorrow you get to go home and I can meet those babies of yours."

"You'll stay with me all night?"

"Absolutely."

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

When they reached the new house, Anna's eyes widened. She had not expected the Crawley family to put her up in one of the nicest houses on their property. John opened the door for Anna and helped her out of the side door, before opening the back door for Elsie.

"They've done too much," Anna murmured, looking up at the house. John came back to hold on to her and help to steady her up the stairs. She still had a long way to go in terms of healing. The doctors put her on extensive bed rest orders. Elsie and Cora had both offered to help with the children, so that Anna could heal.

Knowing that Alex was out on bail, made Anna nervous. She was anxious he would show up and take her children, and possibly decide to kill her in the process. She wondered if he regretted not finishing her off before. A shudder ran down her back and she paused.

"Anna?" Elsie questioned from behind her.

"I…I don't want to scare Penny," Anna replied.

"Oh, from what you tell me about her, she'll be just fine." Elsie assured her. They continued their way to the house.

As soon as John opened the door, Penny came rushing to the door. She was holding up a picture to give to Anna. A smile graced Anna's lips. She couldn't explain how it felt to see her daughter in front of her again. Even though she had just been away for a few days, she had missed her terribly.

"Is that for me?" Penny eagerly nodded. Anna took the photo from Penny and glanced over the colorful shapes and lines.

"It's you, me, and Lucas," Penny told her.

"It's beautiful," Anna stated sincerely. Penny's eyes moved to Elsie and she pointed her finger out to her.

"Who's that?" Anna attempted to bend down to Penny's level, but her ribs protested too much. All she could do was smile and motion toward her stepmother.

"This is your Gran, Penny. She's come to meet you and spend time with you."

Penny's eyes lit up. Between Anna and Alex, she had never had any grandparents. She hadn't even known what it meant to have one, but knowing there would be another person in her life seemed to brighten her day. Penny took two big steps to Elsie and wrapped her arms around her legs.

"I love you!" She told her. Elsie's hand came to rest upon the girl's head and she chuckled.

"I love you, too, Penny. And I am so very glad to meet you." Penny lifted her head up and her little lips twisted slightly.

"Are you Lucas' Gran too?"

"Yes."

"Oh! Then come and meet him too!" Penny grabbed a hold of Elsie's hand and began to lead her toward the living room.

Anna stayed back and took a moment to breathe. Just standing for the few moments had begun to take a lot out of her. She wanted to see her baby boy, but she wasn't sure she was going to be able to make the steps to him.

"Why don't I help you to your room and then I'll have Cora bring Lucas to you?" John offered. Anna lifted her head slightly and allowed John to assist her to the bedroom. Thankfully, it wasn't too far from the doorway.

The room was all set up for Anna. She glanced around for children's beds and when she didn't see any, her brows furrowed.

"Where are the children sleeping?"

"In a room with Cora," John answered. "Elsie will be in the room next to you. Robert and I are staying in the main room on pallets."

"This all seems excessive. I don't want everyone pausing their lives for us like this," Anna said, as John helped her into the bed. A loud groan left Anna's lips. The way she turned her hips caused a sharp pain to shoot up her side.

"Here," he said, moving the pillows to support her side. Anna settled into the bed and gave John a smile of thanks. "And it's not excessive, Anna. Alex is dangerous. We want to make sure you and the kids are safe. We will all stay here until he is in prison."

Anna reached out and took John's hand into her own. At the motion, John paused what he was doing and met Anna's eyes. He saw that they were brimmed with grateful tears. His lips curled up slightly and he rubbed the back of Anna's hand with his thumb.

"Thank you," Anna stated with complete sincerity. "Thank you for saving me, for saving my babies. I….I don't know how I will ever be able to repay you."

John's head shook and he used his other hand to wrap around their two hands. "Just be happy now. Find happiness. Be safe. Don't let him draw you back in."

"I won't."

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

For two weeks, Anna stayed in constant fear of Alex returning. Even with everyone at the house to help and keep an eye out, she couldn't keep her fears at bay. She knew Alex, though. She knew that deep down he wouldn't let their children go away. Every day she feared she would hear that she had to take the children somewhere to meet him. That would be how he would take his opportunity; she just knew it. The worry of losing her children kept her up at night. She wasn't sure how to quell those thoughts and feelings.

"Penny for your thoughts, love?" Elsie questioned Anna.

"I'm Penny!" Penny said, looking up at Elsie. She was sitting in Elsie's lap and coloring a picture. Elsie smiled and kissed Penny's cheek. In just the two weeks Penny had gotten to know Elsie, she was already smitten with her. Lucas also reached out for her to hold him often. It was as if she had been their gran their entire lives.

Anna sighed. "I…I'm just ready for it to all be settled," she answered a moment later. She glanced down at her hands and could still see the bruise that circled her wrist.

"What settled, Mommy?" Penny innocently asked. Anna shook her head. That was the other difficult part of it all, keeping Penny from knowing what was going on. She was still little and whether they liked it or not, Alex was her father. Thankfully, the small girl hadn't asked about her father since Anna's arrival to the house. Anna believed it was because of the distractions of all the visitors they had.

Tom walked through the kitchen and grabbed a glass of water. He sat down next to Penny and asked her about her drawing. Today Tom was on duty, because both John and Richard couldn't miss work this particular day. They had come up with a special schedule to ensure that there were plenty of people on guard at the house during the day and at night. John never missed a night at the house. Anna was pretty sure he rarely slept and instead sat by the door with a watchful eye. One night when she had been unable to get comfortable in her bed, she had gotten up and found him just sitting by the door with his hands firmly in his lap. It did make her feel a bit safer, knowing he was there.

A knock came at the front door and Anna's entire body tensed. No one ever knocked. Anyone who came to the house had their own set of keys. The only other people who knew where Anna was staying was the police. They had promised to keep her location a secret and that it was only needed for court dates and emergencies.

Tom glanced at the door and then back at the three at the table.

"Stay here," he said, before standing up and walking down the long walkway to the front door. Anna leaned back some in her chair to try and see who was on the other side of the door. She could feel her heart racing harshly in her chest.

"Anna," Tom called out for her. "It's the police. You need to come up here."

Still being sore, Anna slowly got out of the chair. She met Elsie's eyes and her lips quivered slightly. There was concern bubbling in the pit of her stomach. Were they going to tell her they let him go and that he was getting the children? Had they come to take her away? Why were they here? Elsie gave her a kind nod and a shake of her head to tell her not to worry.

Swallowing hard, Anna made her way to the front door. Tom moved out of the way, but stayed nearby unless Anna needed his support. She was still very weak.

"Yes, officer," her voice was shaky.

"Mrs. Green, let's go sit down," the officer suggested. Anna's head shook.

"No, whatever it is, just tell me. Please." The fear was bubbling up in her stomach and her eyes glanced around the officer, waiting for Alex to jump out from behind him. The officer kindly nodded. He took off his hat and stepped in through the doorway.

"Mrs. Green. Your husband, Alex Green, was killed last night."

_To be continued..._

**_Part One of this story is almost completed. There will be one more part before it is done. Then part two will come in January. I haven't decided if it'll be its own story and let this stand on its own or continue in this same story. Thank you for reading! _**


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

"Wh…what?" Anna stumbled slightly on her feet. Thankfully, Tom quickly noticed and grabbed her elbow to steady her. He led her to the couch by the front door and helped to sit her down. Anna felt a myriad of emotions. Tears welled in her eyes, but at the same time, her body relaxed.

"Mummy?" Penny's voice called out and soon she was running into the room. Elsie was only a few steps behind her and was calling for Penny.

"Penny, darling, let's go get Lucas. He's up from his nap," Elsie tried. Penny's little head shook and she crawled onto the couch next to Anna. Upon seeing her daughter's innocent little face, Anna nearly chocked on her tears. How would she explain any of this to her? Alex may have been an awful human, but to Penny he was just her father.

"Go with your Gran, sweetie," Anna said. Her hand fell to one of Penny's pig tails and she tugged gently on one of her curls. Penny's arms wrapped around Anna's neck and she shook her head against her.

"No, I want to stay with you," Penny cried. Anna gently pulled Penny back away from her and pressed a kiss against her forehead. She ran her finger along Penny's jawline and sighed.

"Mummy will come and get you soon. We can do whatever you want then."

"Play tea?"

"Yes."

"Okay," Penny replied, sliding off her mother's lap and onto the floor. She walked over to Elsie and took her hand. Once they were out of eyesight and earshot, Anna turned her attention back to the officer.

"What happened?"

"Mrs. Green, I am not quite sure where to start….."

"Call me, Anna, please."

"Anna," The officer corrected. "Your husband and his….his girlfriend, Edna Braithwaite, have been involved in illegal things." Anna felt her blood run cold. She closed her eyes and felt that Tom had taken her hand into his. Grateful for her friend's support, she took in a deep breath. Slowly, she reopened her eyes.

"What type of illegal things?"

"Mrs….I mean, Anna, they were drugging girls and taking them to hotels to….." Anna shook her head in sharp jerks.

"I….I….I don't want to hear it," she said, feeling sick. The officer nodded.

"One woman was at the bar with her husband. They apparently did not know she wasn't alone. When Mr. Smith tried to escort the woman out of the hotel, her husband apprehended him. Mr. Green was thrown into the road and hit by a bus that was driving by."

"Is…is the woman okay?" Anna asked.

"Yes. She is. Mrs. Braithwaite has been placed in custody. We have had many women come to us saying they were victims of the two. It's been going on for years."

Anna's head fell into her hands. How had she been married to such a monster? Bile began to rise up her throat and she jerked up from the couch. Her body protested her movements, but she pushed past it. Rushing to the bathroom, she leaned over the toilet and let the contents of her stomach empty.

When she walked out of the bathroom, she found John standing in the doorway. He had just gotten back from work. Without saying a word, Anna went straight to him, wrapped her arms around him, and broke down.

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

Holding a funeral for an evil man seemed strange. But Anna felt she needed to do it for her children's sake. A large part of her wanted to just give him the bare minimum and have him buried. Penny and Lucas deserved more. It wasn't for _him_. It was for them.

She didn't have him buried anywhere near Michael. That she couldn't allow. They had him buried in a small corner that wasn't surrounded by much. It seemed fitting and a way to keep him from hurting anyone else.

The funeral at the church had been very short. Very few people attended, but more than Anna had expected to arrive. In the end, they were all there to support her. Penny hadn't understood. She asked multiple times when her daddy would be back.

"He won't be," she said gently. She curled her fingers around Penny's small hand. "Your daddy had to go away. He died."

"Is he in heaven with my goldfish?" Penny innocently questioned. Anna's lips fell into a straight line.

"I…I don't know," was all Anna could say. She knew one day Penny would have to know the truth about her father, but Anna wasn't quite ready to take that innocence away from her.

Once Alex was buried. Elsie, Cora, and the others took the children ahead to the car, leaving Anna alone at the gravesite. She stood frozen in time. Her body shook slightly, but she didn't know exactly how she felt. There was a deep relief that he could no longer harm her and her children, but also a sadness that seeped deep within her soul. She couldn't understand that sadness. He was evil. He had hurt her and many other women.

Stepping back, she turned and walked away. She never looked back again.

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

_One Month Later _

"Do you have everything?" John questioned Anna. Anna's head bobbed up and down. She watched as he placed the last box into the back of the car. He closed the door and glanced over at the house behind them.

"It'll only be for a few months," Anna told him. John nodded. "She needs help packing up her house to move back here. I found a renter for my house. I think I'll keep it that way for a while. I know I can't move back into it."

The words felt awkward in the air. She knew there was nothing between her and John, but he had been the one to save her.

For a short while, Anna and the kids were moving to London with Elsie. Elsie wanted to move back to this area. So the plan was to go back to London, sale her house, and pack up. Her pen pal, Charles Carson lived here too. It would give them a chance to get to know each other better if she were here. With Anna not having a job and the kids small, they didn't have to be on any type of time crunch to get it all done. Anna also thought it would be good for her to get away from this town for a while. Her late husband's name was still buzzing all around town.

Anna perched up onto her toes and placed a kiss on John's cheek. "Thank you," she murmured into his ear.

"See you soon?" He questioned her. Anna nodded.

"Yes."

With that, Anna climbed into the front seat of the car. John watched as the car pulled away.

"She'll be back soon," Cora said from the doorway. John turned to find Cora and Mary waving as the car pulled out of sight. John walked up to meet them and nodded.

"I know."

"Come on, let's have some breakfast."

**The End...of Story One. Be on the lookout for Part Two this January! It'll be it's own story thread, but likely just called You Cry More 2 (so incredibly original, I know- Unless you have any suggestions for me!) There has to be more because we want Anna and John together, right?! The next story will be about the two of them coming together as Anna heals from the abusive relationship she was in and the horrible acts her husband had committed. Thank you for reading! Please let me know what you thought and if you do want Part Two. Thank you again! **


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